A Plan Of Action
by Impossible-Dreamer
Summary: Keller's going to make sure him and Beecher reunite, no matter what. (Season 5)
1. Beginning Plans

**Author: **Dannette   
**Rating:** R   
**Summary: **Keller's going to make sure him and Beecher reunite, no matter what.   
**Time: **Season 5   
**Disclaimer:** None of the characters in this story belong to me, this is all fiction, thank you very much.   
**Warning: **This story is not for someone who doesn't like slash, or violence. In which this story has. This story has been stemmed from the show "Oz", which is rated TV-MA, mature audiences only, as most of the fiction about Oz. There is cussing, violence, relations between two men, murder, etc. The list really does go on. Now after reading this, do you still want to read the story? If so, go ahead, but remember ... I warned you. 

*** 

**A Plan Of Action**

*** 

Slowly he traced his fingers along the steel bars of the solitary confined cell, he held a disinterested look in his eyes. He had just recently gotten back from his quite brief stay in Memorial Hospital, thanks to the bitch known as Claire Howell. It really did serve him right, he should pick a less violent CO to flirt with. Flirt. That word seemed to slap him in the face, yet he did nothing to stop the slap. He was a flirter. Seductive. Manilupative. That was him. That was him to a T, whatever the hell that meant. To a T. 

It started off as flirting to get what he wanted, much like O'Reily did. Then it was just to pass the time. He hated being held back, he wanted to be in Em City, closer to Toby. Toby. That name, was always playing through his head. Like he told the Sister, when he was in Massachuetts, he dealt with being away from Toby better, but god now ... now knowing that he was in the same building as Toby, it was driving him insane. He needed to see Toby. He needed to hold Toby. And he would tear anything down that got in his way of getting to Toby. He was going insane. It was a powerful feeling. To know that the man you love was only a few walls away from you and that the only thing that was keeping you from him was concrete and bars, and his rap sheet. Hell, if he could rip up his rap sheet, if he could just make Byrce Tibbett's murder go away, he could be back in Em City with Toby. Maybe even in the same pod. The two of them getting back to what they're best at. Being together. 

They fit. They swirled with each other in the perfect motion. Fingers intertwined. Lips brushing against each other in a breath-taking motion. Feelings, earth shattering feelings. Fingers dipping down to caress soft skin, learning every line, every dip in his face. Every whimper was catorgerized in Chris's head, he knew of every little whimper Toby did when he was having a nightmare. He knew when Toby was mad, when he was sad, when he was emotionally disturbed; Chris knew every little emotion Toby held inside of him. He knew how Toby exactly shaved, he knew how Toby liked to eat the corn before everything else. Toby was his favorite drug, he examined it carefully and learned everything about it, and then he wanted even more. He could close his eyes and picture things about Toby, he could easily picture the night where they first reunited. New Years Eve. The kiss. The embrace. His mind often skidded over to their goodbye. Toby hugging him desperately, the kiss they shared, the ultimate heartache on Toby's face. He could pin-point how Toby's eyes glazed over in a pained look. That was another thing he knew all about. He knew all about Toby's looks, he knew how they shimmered in his eyes, his eyes holding a shiny look, twinkling in front of him. He knew every little curve of Toby's body, he knew how it felt to have Toby's body against his. His arms, he had felt those, the crook of his neck, he had felt the warmth of that, his chest, he had so many times felt that chest and felt at home. There were so many body parts of Toby's body, and every single body part he had made sure he had felt, there was nothing that Chris hadn't felt of Toby. But despite all the wonderful body parts of Toby's body, it was Toby's heart that Chris loved the most. He loved the way Toby seemed to always have room for him in there. 

Being in this damn cell gave him time to think. Think about how Howell, these bars, and Catherine were in his way in getting back with Toby. This was exactly why he hated being alone, it gave his mind too much free time. Free time to plot the demise of the things that stood in his way. Maybe if they got out of his way before he got out of PC, then everything would be fine. He would leave them alone, just as long as they left him and Toby alone. There was only one person Chris Keller had ever truly loved with all of his heart, and Chris knew Toby felt the same. It was just the distance they had between them, once he returned to Em City, everything would be fine. He would make sure of it. _It's gonna be me, _Chris mused flipping on his back on the hard bed, his eyes cold. 

"Aww, is loverboy sad?" Howell barked out in her annoying voice, her night stick clinked against the steel bars. "Maybe you're thinking of your boy. Maybe thinking if he still thinks about you, if he still wants you to touch him, hold him. I doubt it. Plus you're never leaving here, and as long as you're here, you're mine. You're on my ground level, get it straight." Howell snapped. 

Chris advanced his cold glance at Howell, but didn't say a word. 

"Cat got your tongue?" Howell asked, still making the clinking sound with her night stick. 

Chris continued to stare at Howell, but yet no words dared to leave his lips. His icy gaze locked with Howell's hard look, he looked into her eyes, catching all of her vulnerablities. With one glance he was getting everything he needed to know. "I knew this guy, who talked too much shit, right?" Chris finally started to speak. "Well one night, when he least expected it, these guys who he thought were his friends, cut it right out. It was a real ugly mess, blood everywhere, he was screaming the whole time. Heh, he doesn't really scream anymore. He just walks around, looking like he's normal, but his friends know he has no tongue." 

Howell's eyes showed a tint of digust and shock in them. "You're sick Keller. One sick individual." 

"Yo, what was that guy's name? The one that ate his family and later was executed?" Chris asked sitting up in the cell bed. 

"Groves, Daniel Groves." Howell answered, staring at Chris, she was a bit disturbed by his stare. 

"Yeah, that's it. I knew someone like that. Now that guy was sick. He killed his cousin, then cut him up and cooked him and then ate him like it was meatloaf or something. Even asked for ketchup. Just chowing down, like it's nothing. Pass the milk please, he would say, or even asked if I wanted some. Pretty sick, but it doesn't leave no evidence behind. Heh, I miss that guy." 

Howell swallowed. "How did you know him?" 

"He's my nephew." Chris said, barely touching Howell's hand, he watched her jump back a bit, he grinned. "What? Cat got your tongue Howell?" Chris asked, he looked up and saw McManus signing in, Chris grinned. "Well maybe you should have thought about that before you messed with me, huh?" Chris jumped up. "McManus did you know your damn guards are trying to molest me? She's been bringing me in food from the outside too, I would fucking watch her!" Chris screamed. " I fucking swear, I haven't even been convicted of murder yet and this is the sort of shit I have to deal with? It's not fucking right." 

Howell seemed shocked at this, she turned around and stared at McManus. "He's a fucking liar." 

Chris leaned his head against the bars and looked innocent, he brought up his left arm slowly and scratched behind his ear. "Jawbreakers, she brought that in like last week. And McManus, maybe you should look at the injury count on her watch. It's pathetic. I know us guys here in PC are pretty much lost causes, but come on Timmy boy." Chris said, grinning at Howell. 

McManus walked over and stared at Chris, he rolled his eyes when Chris grinned widely at him. McManus shook his head and looked at Howell, and despite how much he _didn't _like Chris Keller, McManus had been pondering this. Especially ever since the trip to Memorial hospital that Chris had taken a week ago; the injury count was huge on Claire's watch, and McManus knew the minute he left, Claire would take it out on Chris. And for some reason he was deciding to be nice today. "Claire, we have a board meeting. We need you there, just let the other guards take care of Keller here." McManus snapped, looking at Chris. 

"Yeah, I love ya fucks too." Chris said, flopping down on his bed, glad to get rid one of his pesty problems for the time being. Once Howell and McManus were out of sight, Chris folded his arms above his head, his elbows gently pushing against the concrete of the solitary cell. Chris bit down on the inside of his cheek as he envisioned his plan. He would definitely have to get rid of Howell, but this would be after Catherine got him back to Em City, then he would get rid of her too, if she stood in the way. And he would definitely have to hook up with O'Reily, those two were a team not to be messed with. Heh, maybe they could even start some trouble with the Aryans. _This is if you get back to Em City, _one of Chris voices said to himself. _Of course I will you fuck. If Catherine is as good as she is, she'll get me off, and I'll be running off to Em City. _Chris argued back. _Well what if she just decides to let you fry? After all, you get to Em City, and you're going to steal her boyfriend in one glance, I wouldn't let you live, if you had that sort of control over Toby. _The voice said harshly. _And if she lets me fry, Toby'll never forgive her. _Chris snapped. _But you'll be dead, what's the difference? Maybe she's some cold-blooded bitch who isn't going to step back. _The voice commented. _She won't need to step back. Toby loves me. She's just some damn cookie cut perfect picture and he thinks he's supposed to love her, but the minute I step back in Em City, he's going to realize I'm the one he loves, plus I'll kill her. _Chris mused. _Then you'll definitely get the death penalty. _The voice pointed out. _Heh, not very fucking likely, you dumb ass. I got a plan and Ryan O'Reily. There ain't no way I'm getting caught. I'm too good for that. Me and O'Reily will get rid of the bitches, and bam, all is well. _Chris stated. 

He pushed his head out of his thoughts and grinned to himself. It really was the perfect plan. He would get rid of Howell and Catherine and nothing would stand in his way of getting Toby back, Toby was his to begin with. Sure their relationship had started off on betrayal, but Chris truly did love Toby, and if all the whole world doubted that, then fuck them. He loved Toby, that was all that mattered. Everyone else could rot in hell, all he needed was Toby, he had Toby and things were just fine, perfectly fine. 

*** 

Another day in Oz. As Tobias Beecher clicked away on the small computer in Sister Pete's office, updating some case file or writing some report for her, all he could think, was that it was another day in Oz. Another day, nothing really special. There used to be a time where he woke up and was glad that it was another day, but that was five years ago, now it was just another day in Oz. Nothing exciting. Another day. Toby shook his head and finished up whatever he was doing, frankly he couldn't even remember. There were those days where everything seemed to turn into a swirling mess, you just couldn't even remember a damn thing. Everyone in Oz felt that, it was nothing new. That was how things worked around here. They all had their days. _Another day in Oz, _Toby mused. 

"Working hard?" 

Toby looked up when a soft female voice came behind him, it wasn't Sister's because she was out and plus he would know this voice from anywhere; Toby turned around in his chair and grinned when he saw her. Catherine McClain. Toby pushed himself up and greeted her with a kiss, followed by a hug. It still felt weird doing that. He would never confess it to anyone, because maybe he was afraid to confess it to anyone else, but he felt like he was betraying Chris by having a _girlfriend. _But of course Chris knew all of Catherine, it still didn't change the fact how Toby felt. _Chris. _Just that name, brought many thoughts up. How was Chris? Was Chris thinking of him? Did Chris still love him? _Don't think about this, you have Catherine, _Toby commented to himself, trying to shake his head from these thoughts. But he just couldn't stop. That was his problem. Somehow Chris Keller had branded his way into Toby's thoughts all the time. Before it was easier, because Chris was all in the way in Masachuetts, but now Chris was in the same building. Toby could feel it, he could feel the aching he thought he lost for Chris, come back up, but only 10 times worse. 

"Toby?" Came Catherine's concerned voice, she waved her hand in front of Toby's face. 

"Huh?" Toby asked, pushing himself out of his thoughts. 

"You look a little distracted." She commented, smiling softly for him. 

"No, not really. Just thinking, you do a lot of that here." Toby said, smiling back, he sat back in his chair by the computer, but his mind was still half-way on Chris. Did Catherine make him feel the same way as Chris used to? _Still does. _Catherine touched him yes, but never like Chris used to touch him. Chris used to touch him like it was a habit, and in a way it was. Chris knew all of his little snorts or sighs or even whimpers during nightmares, and Catherine wasn't even allowed here during night. 

"I decided to take Chris Keller's case." Catherine said, taking a seat. 

That seemed to perk up Toby, because his eyes did that 'interested' sparking up thing they did, but of course only one or two people would know of this look, and one of them was not Catherine McClain, but that was really besides the point. "You're taking Keller's case?" Toby asked, forcing himself not to say the name 'Chris', it seemed he always got thoughtful when he said that name. 

"Yes, I am." Catherine said, taking off her coat. "That's not going to be a problem for you is it?" Catherine asked, quirking an eyebrow up as she stared at Toby. Lately he seemed so ... moody. She knew it had something to do with Chris Keller. She heard a lot of stories fluttering around in Oz, plus she knew from what Tim McManus told her. And Toby had never denied that he had been with Chris, but he swore she was the one he loved, but she couldn't help but think ... think deep down, it was Chris Toby loved with all of his heart. Maybe that was why she was taking this case, if Chris died, Toby would be beyond depressed. But Chris's words echoed in her head, she wanted Toby happy, she really did, but in winning this case for Chris, she would be reuiniting Chris and Toby. And it didn't matter what Toby said, the minute they saw each other again, all that angst and aching and yearning would come back, she knew it. She knew the minute Chris Keller walked back into Em City, Tobias Beecher would fall all over again. She had seen deep inside the eyes of Chris Keller that day she talked to him, and she could see a part of Toby in there, did she even have the right to call him Toby? Is that what Chris called him? She knew all about them, recently she had made it a habit to find everything about them. They had found love in the most unexpected of places, believe it or not. Love in prison. 

"No," Toby said, trying to act casual. "What made you want to take his case up?" 

"He's personal to you." Catherine pointed out. 

"Catherine ... " Toby said, in a low, soft tone. 

"What? He is. Toby, I have to take the case. If he dies, even if you won't admit it, you'll be crushed. There has to be a part of you, that is still in love with him! Love. You say you love me, but can you deny that you don't love him?" Catherine asked. 

"Finding love in a place like this is impossible Catherine. Maybe I thought at one time or another I could find such a pure thing as love in a darkening place like this, but it's impossible. I love you. But Chris ... " Toby felt something inside of him choke up at the mentioning of his name. The name 'Keller' made it sound so impersonal, but 'Chris', made him go back to moments alone in their pod together, when no one else mattered in the world but them. 'Chris' and 'Toby', _Oh God, _Toby said, his eyes in an alerted stare. 

"I'm doing this because he's personal to you, but don't lie to me Toby." Catherine said. 

"I love you." Toby said, his eyes bouncing back and forth, as he tried to keep his mind off of Chris. Alone in that cell, shut in. Chris had told him once, that he hated being alone, it scared him to death. That was one of the rare moments where Chris had opened up to him, showing him the whole esscence ... the good, the bad, the everything ... of Chris Keller, and thinking back on that ... Toby knew he indeed loved Chris. It was an emotion that had actually dawned upon him very quickly and had stayed in his body throughout the pain, the betrayal, the part in his life where he was Oz's "slut", through the painful goodbye, through the presence of Catherine in his life. Toby loved Chris, he couldn't say that he didn't love him outloud. _God help me.___

"But you love him as well." Catherine pointed out, accusingly. 

And fuck, if that wasn't a conversation killer, Toby had no idea what was. 

*** 

_Do I love you because you're beautiful_   
_Or are you beautiful because I love you_   
_Am I making believe I see in you_   
_A man too perfect to be really true_   
_Do I want you because you're wonderful_   
_Or are you wonderful because I want you_   
_Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream_   
_Or are you really as wonderful as you seem___

_Where in the fuck had that come from? _Chris thought to himself as he laid in his bed, he tried to pin-point where he exactly heard that song, especially since he wasn't a lyrical person. Which was another thing he hated about PC, the damn silence made you think and ponder of things that just didn't make no god damn sense at all, and Chris Keller being lyrical, did **NOT **make sense. Chris banned the thought from his head and stretched his arms above his head, making the black-ish wife beater he was wearing inch up; his arms made a cracking noise as all the tired bones in his arms were stretched to their limits. God, being in this place was tiring. Especially when all he could think of was Toby, and of how everything seemed to be surreal when he was with Toby. Where had he turned into a damn sap? Fuck. He used to be a cold-hearted bastard, and then out of the blue something happened. A fucking debt. That was all it was supposed to be, some half-brained debt he owed Vern Shillenger, that was all it was supposed to amount to. Which of course amounted to something that still shocked him to this day. He fell in love. He knew the consequences and yet he still fell in love, fell deep for Tobias Beecher, and it fucked up everything that he had control of. He used to know what he wanted, knew where he was going, knew what he was supposed to do ... he had damn direction, and no one could screw that up, until Toby. Did he care anymore? Fuck no. Control was no longer what Chris cared about, and that was probably the most screwed up thing about all of this. Control was nothing. He would give the control to Toby, if Toby wanted it. Control was no longer a question in the matter. A debt. Hah. The plan had been great, up until right after the conclusion, he had fallen in love without knowing it. And in the process he had fucked over the one man that looked at him like he was worth something ... _fuuckkk, _Chris groaned. Old thoughts. He hated when he got like this, all contemplative and shit, he hated being deep without Toby here to listen to him. This was damn near painful, he could actually feel himself yearning for Toby, yearning for anything Toby would throw at him. Give me something, he felt like screaming. Screaming. Hah, that didn't seem like a bad idea. Would Toby hear him? Would he care? 

"Chris." 

Chris popped his head out of his thoughts and blinked once or twice, until his vision was clear, (unknowingly to him, he had somewhere along the lines of his thoughts, closed his eyes) he grinned to himself when he saw Catherine McClain. _Well if this ain't what I needed, _Chris thought to himself as he pushed himself up and made his way to the bars. "Hey-a Catherine." Chris said, flashing her a smile, a lingering, seductive smile. This was what he was good at, seducing people ... _too bad the heart isn't in it, I could really create some damage here, god I hate you Toby, _Chris mused, as he ran his fingers over the coldness of the cell bars. Chris stared at Catherine and tried to imagine what Toby really saw in her. _Kind of attractive, ain't no Betty though, _Chris thought to himself. 'Betty', heh, where had that nickname stemmed from? Chris smirked when he remembered a particular conversation with Toby and Hill, how they said there were hardly any 'Betty('s)' in Oz ... long story, inside joke. "What can I do for you?" 

"It's more what I can do for you." Catherine said quickly, adjusting her cream colored coat. 

"I can think of a few things, but explain yourself." Chris said, leaning closer to the bars, staring into her eyes. They're were nothing special, there wasn't anything in her eyes that shouted 'individuality' or 'special' about them, actually they seemed quite boring. 

"I'm taking up your case." Catherine replied. 

Chris grinned. "Told ya." 

"Huh?" Catherine asked, honestly confused by Chris. 

"I told you," Chris started, running his fingers over Catherine's, he smiled when he felt her tense underneath his touch. "That you wouldn't let me fry. You know what I know, you know that helping me back in Em City will make Toby happy. He loves me. He can deny it to you all he wants, he's just saying what he thinks will make you feel better, but at the end of the night, he thinks of me. Like I think of him all the time in this cell, back in Cedar Junction, everytime I saw him in Em City, how I'm thinking of him right now. You touch him, trying to guess what his deepest desire is, what his deepest fear is, what he cries over at night, how he whimpers in his sleep ... I know all of that. So let's cut to the shit huh? Be the righteous person, whatever, just get me back to Em City." 

Catherine pulled her hand away. "That's not exactly the perfect way to get me on your side." 

Chris shrugged. "I only have the best intentions, I swear. Cross my heart and hope to die." Chris said, in a detached voice. 

Catherine stared into the cold urbs of Chris's eyes and felt a fear like nothing else enter her body. "I'll do my best." 

"You better." Chris yelled after her, as she walked out of solitary.   



	2. Unconditional Love, Unconditional Surren...

**Author: **Dannette   
**Rating:** R   
**Summary: **Keller's going to make sure him and Beecher reunite, no matter what.   
**Time: **Season 5   
**Disclaimer:** None of the characters in this story belong to me, this is all fiction, thank you very much.   
**Warning: **This story is not for someone who doesn't like slash, or violence. In which this story has. This story has been stemmed from the show "Oz", which is rated TV-MA, mature audiences only, as most of the fiction about Oz. There is cussing, violence, relations between two men, murder, etc. The list really does go on. Now after reading this, do you still want to read the story? If so, go ahead, but remember ... I warned you. 

**Note - **In this story, I have changed some things. Like Catherine and Beecher never went their seperate ways. Beecher is still working for the Sister (until this chapter), Guenzel's handing over to Shillenger has yet to happen. 

*** 

**A Plan Of Action**

*** 

Unconditional love. 

As Chris laid in the stiff bed, which shouldn't even be called a bed, he recalled a conversation with Sister Pete. How he first wanted unconditional surrender, then unconditional love. Sure, Chris had started talking to Sister Pete to manlipuate her to convince Toby to forgive him, but that one particular statement had a huge kernal of truth to it. Chris wanted unconditional love. He wanted someone to love him even though he broke his spirit and heart, and mostly Chris wanted to give that unconditional love back. Unconditional love. Chris could never give that to anyone, he came close to giving it to Bonnie, but in some way he had failed in doing that. And as he killed all those men he had slept with, his eyes had held a cold look to them ... it was sex, pure and animalistic sex, but there was no love. He wanted to kill them because in doing that, he was killing himself, the part of him he despised. He always hated himself, but unlike some people who hurt themselves, he hurt other people. That had been the way he had grown up. With two brothers, a mother who never seemed to be around, and a father who didn't give a crap, Chris had learned to hate himself, hate others, hurt others ... kill all those that stood in his way or threatened to make him fall. And where did love fit in this all? It didn't. Love was a technicality, it hadn't visited him before, so just fuck it. Sex was good enough. He liked sex. It felt great. It filled the spots in him that were so dank and empty, but of course afterwards he couldn't feel anything, until he looked down at their dead, prone, bodies. Fuck 'em. He wasn't like them, he was no faggot. At least that was what he told himself, he just did what he had to do to survive in this world. That was what he told himself everyday, he got a little pleasure, but nothing earth shattering and among those lines ... but of course no one was quite like Tobias Beecher, now were they? There was unconditional surrender. And long lasting, Toby had proved the unconditional love. And Chris loved Toby back, the whole god damn world should know, that Chris had fallen. 

He had fallen into a hole, a symbolical hole, and Toby had brought a bit light in there. Sappy? Fuck yeah. That was the oddest thing about this whole situation, he had changed. Sure he was no puppy dog in love, but there was a different side to him, whenever he felt Toby's touch on him, or even a small smile, or a glance. Toby was something different alright. Was he gay? That thought had flown through his head so many damn times. Was he gay? Was he like all those men he killed? He wasn't, was he? He didn't believe he was. He knew a part of him was, and he wanted to kill that part of him. But damn it, Toby made it alright. So, maybe, yeah, he was gay. He liked sex. He **LOVED **sex. But it wasn't sex with Toby. Because sex was fast, unfeeling at times ... but with Toby, it was slow, full of emotion, they fit together so perfectly. It was something that left him breathless, heart pounding, blood rushing to his head after every single time they did it. It was love. It was sad, it was true, it was real, it was going to change everything he knew ... and he had accepted it. Accepted it so easily. Tender. Rough. Whatever Toby wanted to give him, he took. 

While he was in Masachuetts he wondered at times how he lost it, lost the control, lost the direction he had. As he waited to be trailed on a murder he hadn't even done, he really did wonder when Tobias Beecher had become the most important thing in his life. Was it the laundry room where they shared their first kiss? No, Chris could actually think it was before that, but hell ... his mind was so confused, about _"Operation Toby" _and Shilleger and the Aryan Brotherhood, that he couldn't figure out if it was a debt or love back then. But there was always something. Something out of some fucking moronic love novel. Finding love in the most despaired of places. Couldn't you just picture it? Hell, right now in this silent cell, he could picture. Yeah, he was demented all right. 

"Chris," 

Chris looked up and smiled when he saw Sister Pete standing on the other side of the bars that kept him in this inhuman hell. Chris pushed himself up and walked over to his side of the bars and smiled again. "Ah, come to visit me?" Chris asked, grinning. 

She smiled at him, she stared at his injuries for a while, before actually speaking. "I heard Catherine McClain is working on your case." Sister Pete said softly, her hand flying up to her rosary, she softly kneeded it around her soft, old but wise hands. 

"Yeah," Chris said, running a hand over his face, as if trying to smooth over his frustration. "She's good?" 

"Yes." Sister Pete answered, not helping seeing the frustration Chris seemed to be in. "You miss him." 

Chris let out a sigh. "Yeah." Chris said, the sigh shuddering through his body. "Sister, you yourself have been on a road before right? Still am, I assume. A straight road, you got yourself some direction, and nothing can deter you from that road. Well that was how I used to be, right? I had myself some direction, but then bam --- " Chris stopped and forced his hands together to make a cracking sound. "Something threw me right off of my road, and I lost all direction. I was like a car crashing. Spinning out of control, and as hard as I tried to grab onto the wheel and drive myself to safety, I couldn't. I still can't." Chris said, his eyes narrowed. 

"And Tobias is this 'something' that threw you off your road of direction?" Sister Pete asked. 

"Yeah. It's fucking hard." Chris groaned. "Excuse the language and all." Chris said, making a clicking sound with his jaw. "I have two brothers. Dominic and Angelo. Bastards all the way, I really learned everything I knew from them, they taught me to not care, and to kill anything that got in my way. In the non-exitent appearance of a fatherly or motherly figure, I looked up to them. Then as time grew, I lost all careness for anyone but myself. Then I came here, and Toby ... fuck ... he just came out of nowhere, ya know? I told myself, it's just a debt ... you're not falling in love with him. But, it didn't quite help. I told myself my whole life, I'm not gay ... I'm not gay ... repeated it in my head, like a mantra or something. But I love a man, doesn't that count as being gay?" Chris asked. 

"Chris ... " Sister Pete started. 

"But homosexuality is some sort of shame to God and all, right? Isn't that what it says in the bible?" Chris asked, cutting her off. 

"Yes, something along the lines, are indeed in the bible, but Chris ... " Sister Pete started again. 

"But, you yourself, once told me that we are all god's children in his eyes." Chris cut her off again. "That he loves us all of us. Whichever race, whatever we have done. Yet homosexuality is a sin? And we should die for our sins? It's sodomy? Something to looked down upon in god's eyes? Shameful? So love is a sin?" Chris asked, his eyes holding a indescrible look in them. 

"Love is not a sin." She answered. 

"But love between two men _is _a sin?" Chris snapped. "I want to be loved by god, I want god to look at me and say that he loves me. I've told you this. But I have also told you that it's too late for god to choose me. But you never really got it, did you? You never really got why. I'm a shame to god. A sin. Because I have felt the sexual touch of various men, but have felt love and returned it to one man. And if that's wrong in god's eyes, I know I'm not going to be loved by him, I won't get his love, I'm not fit to be picked." 

"Chris ... I ... " 

"Being in this cell, waiting to hear if I'm going to die, gives me a lot of time to think. I have never thought as much as I do, when I'm here. Am I gay? Yes. I don't want to be, but see, unlike god who can choose who he loves and who he frowns upon with shame, I can't help but love Toby. Your god says it's a sin, it's a shameful love, a shameful thing, I'm sorry, but your god is wrong." Chris said, he stopped briefly, he ran his fingers across the gold cross he wore. "I walk in the shadow of valley of death ... " 

Sister Pete just stared at Chris, with perplexed eyes.   


*** 

Something inside of Toby's head was clicking away like a time bomb. He had to see Chris. Even just to talk to him for a few seconds, just to touch him, to see that he's okay. Fuck this was so hard. Right now, he was dying inside, knowing that Chris was so close, but yet so far away. He needed to see Chris. It had been way too long ... but the only option to see Chris really didn't appeal to him. Giving Guenzel to Shillenger really didn't appeal to him. Toby was trying so hard to help Guenzel, he really was, he really was trying his hardest to save Guenzel from Shillenger, but something was itching inside of him, to just give up. If Shillenger really wanted Guenzel, he was going to get him one way or another, and if giving Guenzel up to Shillenger got him to see Chris, then what the hell? _Fuck, it's wrong Tobias, _Toby said to himself, rubbing his face angrily. _You've known him since he was a little kid, you were good friends with his family, you can't do this, you can't hand him over to Vern, _Toby continued on in his head, arguing with the voice inside his head that told him to do it ... to just hand Guenzel over to Shillenger and get the chance to see Chris. _Be strong, you have to save him, it's the right thing to do, to protect him, to protect him from the clutches of Vern ... you didn't have anyone to save you, now did you? Be what you never had to Adam, come on ... _Toby said to himself, but god he was losing the war. 

Unconditional love. 

Didn't Chris tell himself about that once? Toby could rememeber a conversation him and Chris had, of course when they weren't on their best of terms, but still, Chris had said he wanted unconditional love, unconditional surrender, unconditional everything, something along those words. Sighing, Toby knew he had given that to Chris since day one. Despite how many times he told himself not to, he ended up loving Chris even more. He would give up anything that mattered to him to just be near Chris, to touch him, to touch him, to hear his voice ... _fuck, you can't do this, _Toby said in hopes of changing his mind on this whole thing. 

Not working.   


*** 

"I need to talk to you Vern." Toby said, bending down somewhat, so he was eye level with Vern. Something was rumbling inside of Toby's stomach, something inside of him was screaming at him to not to do this, but then the other voice told him, that he had to do anything to get to Chris. He needed to do this, fuck Guenzel, Guenzel was a spoiled bastard who had attacked him. Yeah fuck Guenzel, so he was going to learn the hard way what it was like to be in Oz, have a good fucking time buddy. 

"Heh, is that so?" Vern said, smiling somewhat amused. 

"Yeah." Toby said, sighing. "Can we talk alone?" Toby asked. 

"Amuse me." Vern said, as he pushed himself up from the cafeteria table and waved for the rest of the Aryans to stay where they were. Once they did, him and Toby walked away from the table and to a far off corner in the cafeteria, where it was just the two of them. "Okay talk, you don't have that long." Vern said, smirking; his blue eyes sparking with interest of why Toby wanted to talk to him. Besides from their little sessions that Said along joined them, they weren't talking buddies, not even buddies at all. 

"You want Guenzel." Toby stated, as a matter of fact. 

Vern nodded, pursing his lips together. "I already made that clear, yes, you turned down my offer." 

Toby ran a few fingers through his sandy blond hair. "I have re-thought it." Toby said, looking around nervously, seeing if any of the hacks were nearby or coming, or hell even worse McManus or Glynn, he suddenly felt very weird, sneaky. Of course sneaky, he was about to hand over a man ... not even a man, a young man, a boy, to Vern Shillenger, and for what? Chris Keller. Toby was being a selfish bastard, he was only thinking of what he wanted, but damn it ... he couldn't help it. He was a prisoner to his emotions. 

"Have you?" Vern asked, his eyes peaking with more interest by the minute. 

"Yes." Toby answered quickly. 

"Hmm." Vern said, running a hand under his chin. "Very unlike you, if I can say." 

"You fucking want Guenzel or not?" Toby snapped angrily. 

"Yeah, yeah ... " Vern said, shaking his head in amusement. "Get yourself re-assigned to the mail room, and I'll set up a meeting between you and Keller. But on these terms, the boy is mine. I give you what you want, and you give me what I want." 

"Agreed." Toby said, looking into Vern's eyes as a confirmation. 

"You got yourself a deal." Vern said, grinning widely. 

_You have no fucking morals whatsoever Toby, _Toby said to himself as he walked away from Vern.   


*** 

"Can I talk to you?" Toby asked, turning away from the computer, and staring patiently at Sister Pete. 

Sister Pete looked up from the case she was reading, and stared at Toby, she smiled and nodded. "Of course you can." 

Toby smiled slightly at her. "I've been thinking," Toby said, pushing himself up from the chair he was sitting on. "Thinking about change, and how I'm in the need of it. I've been doing this job, working for you, for the past five years, I think I am in need for change." Toby stopped, he let out a deep breath. "I want to be transferred to the mail room." Toby announced. 

Nonetheless Sister Pete looked shocked. If she had been eating or drinking anything, she just might have started chocking on it. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, this didn't sound anything like the enjoyable but continiously emotionally angsty man that had been working for her the past five years. "I didn't know you were unhappy ... " She started. 

"Oh no, I ... " Toby started to say, his eyes hiding the look of pain in them. He really did think of Sister Pete as a friend of his, but right now there were higher priorities on his list, such as Chris Keller. "I'm not unhappy, just bored." Toby said lamely. 

The shock continued to come, as Sister Pete listened to the unbelievable words coming out of Toby's mouth. This wasn't at all like him, she knew him, and this wasn't him. His eyes, which usually told everything about him, were now shut off from her. Which scared her, but it wasn't like she could force him to continue to work here. "Okay, when do you want to be transferred?" 

"Today." Toby said quickly. 

"Today?" Sister Pete asked, her eyes widening a bit. 

"Yes, today." Toby said, cutting his emotions off at the moment, he was just moments away ... 

"O-Okay, I can do that." Sister said, a bit sadly.   


*** 

"The boy is yours." Toby said, coming into the mail room. 

Vern looked up and grinned at Toby. If you had asked Vern Shillenger a day ago, if he thought that Tobias Beecher would be giving up an 'innocent' to him, knowing perfectly well what he had in plan for the boy, Vern would have laughed you in the face. But hell, there was that saying, seeing is believing, and this was damn proof enough. "You got mail to deliever to solitary." Vern said, pushing the cart of mail to Toby, with a devious look in his eyes. A deal was a deal, and at least he got a prag out of it. 

Toby grabbed the cart and wheeled it out of the mail room and towards solitary. 

_Fuck morals, _Toby said to himself.   



	3. The Failure Of Justification

**Author: **Dannette   
**Rating:** R   
**Summary: **Keller's going to make sure him and Beecher reunite, no matter what.   
**Time: **Season 5   
**Disclaimer:** None of the characters in this story belong to me, this is all fiction, thank you very much.   
**Warning: **This story is not for someone who doesn't like slash, or violence. In which this story has. This story has been stemmed from the show "Oz", which is rated TV-MA, mature audiences only, as most of the fiction about Oz. There is cussing, violence, relations between two men, murder, etc. The list really does go on. Now after reading this, do you still want to read the story? If so, go ahead, but remember ... I warned you. 

**Update - **Catherine and Beecher are still together. Catherine is working on Keller's case. Beecher has quit working for Sister Pete and is now working in the mail room with Shillenger. Beecher has handed over Guenzel to Shillenger in order so he can see Keller. Beecher is delievering mail to solitary and about to go see Keller. 

*** 

**A Plan Of Action**

*** 

Toby wheeled the cart full of mail up to the entry-way of solitary. Toby stopped briefly, he was moments away from seeing Chris, and Toby couldn't feel a little nervous in this. What would Chris say? Would Chris be happy? _You damn sap, _Toby mused to himself, gripping his hands on the edges of the cart. His knuckles were turning white at the pressure and yet he didn't even seem to have that registered in his brain. He was about to see Chris, and that was all that seemed to matter. Everything could just go away for the time being, he would later deal with the rest of the world, but right now he was going to be seeing Chris. Chris Keller. Uh huh, that guy, he was going to see him. Suddenly the feeling of uncertainty arised again. What would Toby say? There was so much to say, and probably all of it would make him look a babbling fool. The last time he had talked to Chris, was their phone conversation. Something he tried to throw out of his mind, to never think about again. He never wanted to drift back to the painful day when Chris had basically told him to fuck off, well okay not in those words, but the sentiment was close enough. Heh, was that why he had let Catherine in his life? _No thinking of Catherine right now, just Chris ... _Toby said to himself, as he waited for a CO. 

"What are you here for?" Came the rough voice of Carl Peterson, a new CO for solitary, as he walked up to Toby. 

"Mail." Toby said, gesturing to the cart full of mail. Toby ran a hand over his hair, brushing it back, waiting for Peterson to comment. Toby could feel an anxiousness enter his body, what if Peterson for some odd reason denied him to allow mail in solitary? Would Toby's plan to see Chris be foiled? Had giving up Guenzel been for nothing? God he hoped not. 

"Go on ahead." Peterson said, motioning for Toby to go on with his routine. 

Toby nodded, and began to walk, he let out a relieved sigh and slowly but anxiously made his way to Chris's cell. Then it just hit him, he had no idea which cell Chris was in. _It won't be that hard to find his cell, _Toby thought to himself as he handed out mail to the prisoners in solitary, he ignored their ignorant babbling and continued on, looking at each cell with interest. Hoping he would find Chris's cell soon, before his mind became muddled with other thoughts, such as remorse for what he had done to Guenzel. And Toby just noticed how he kept referring him as Guenzel instead of Adam. _Yeah, more impersonal, _Toby mused to himself. After all, how could he act personal about Guenzel anymore? He couldn't. Not after what he did. Toby shook his head nad continued wheeling the cart, he was starting to get the feeling that the whole world was against him and Chris. Then Toby stopped at the last cell and froze, when he saw Chris laying on the cell bed, his eyes closed, his arms folded above his head in Chris fashion. _Oh god, _Toby thought to himself, here he was. At Chris's cell and now he just wanted to leave, what in the world could he say? Toby fumbled in the cart of mail, seeing if Vern even bothered to make up a fake letter addressed to Chris or something, so he wouldn't look like such a desperate geek, just doing this so he could see Chris. Nothing. _That's Vern for you, _Toby said to himself, sighing. 

Chris felt himself perk up when he heard someone sigh, he opened up one of his eyes and saw the mail cart, _ah, the joy, _Chris snapped at himself. Chris groaned and pushed himself up, by now both his eyes were open; He pushed himself out of the cell bed and went to say something to the mail guy, who was probably Shillenger or some other Aryan fuck, but Chris froze, when he saw Tobias Beecher. A small smile creapt upon his lips. He went up to the bars and continued to smile. "Toby," He breathed out. 

Toby looked up and for a loss of words, he smiled. "Mail." Toby grabbed any letter out of the cart and handed it through the bars to Chris, he then leaned in as Chris grabbed the letter. "I work in the mail room now," Toby started to explain. 

"Ah." Chris said, pretending he was interested in reading the letter, he looked through the bars to see if any of the CO's were watching, when he was sastified that none of them were giving a flying shit about what was going on, Chris looked straight at Toby. "Hi." Chris said, leaning against the bars of the cell. "You look great." Chris said, flashing a grin. 

Toby smirked. "So do you." 

"I'm happy to see you. They won't let you in, they won't even let us exchange letters." Chris said. 

"Unless I work in the mail room." Toby pointed out. 

It was Chris's turn to smirk now. "Yeah, plus side of it, huh?" He said, Chris brought up his hand and let his fingers brush against Toby's knuckles. "It's been too long." Chris said in a low whisper, as if someone would be listening to them. "Shit Tobe, I've been thinking about you non-stop while I'm in this shit hole cell. Just wanting to tear up my rap sheet, so I can be back in Em City." 

"With me." Toby said, shivering a bit at Chris's touch. 

"Of course, you fuck." Chris said, grinning once more. "Being in this cell, maybe just a few walls away from me, makes me think about how close I am away from you, yet so far away. I've been thinking how long it's been since we last touched, last talked." Chris said, leaning his head against the bars. "It consumes my thoughts, you consume my thoughts. You think of me?" 

"Of course." Toby said quickly. "I had to see you." 

"I'm glad you did." Chris said, smiling. 

Before Toby could say anything there was the distinct sound of heavy boots clanking against the hard surface of the solitary grounds, and within a few seconds, there stood next to Toby, Claire Howell, with her night stick in hand, with a scowl on her face. "How can I help you Beecher?" Howell asked, shooting a look at Chris, then turning her attention back at Toby. 

"I was just delievering some mail." Toby said, pulling away from the bars. 

"You done?" Howell asked. 

"Yeah." Toby said, grabbing onto the cart full of mail, not helping it but looking quickly at Chris. 

"Well if you're done sweet pea, then you can go on your way back to Em City, can't you? I'm sure Chris's stay in solitary doesn't have the rule of you coming by so you two can do the ga-ga eyes thing. Along your way Beecher." Howell snapped. 

Chris narrowed his eyes. "I'll see you soon ..." Chris said to Toby. 

"Sure you will." Howell said, rolling her eyes. 

Toby just nodded at Chris and wheeled the cart out of solitary, making his way out. _Great reunion that was, _Toby mused. 

*** 

"Aww, sorry to break up your little reunion with your boy." Howell said, turning to face Chris, she smirked. "It was such an endearing moment, really it was. I was sitting back there, just cheering you two on." Howell snapped, rolling her eyes at Chris. 

Chris's eyes glowered with a calm but heatful stare. "You know," Chris started, leaning closer against the bars. "If it's anything about Oz, I know about, it's that if you piss enough people off and you're not going to live long. And here is what I think, you've been pissing people off since day one, and I'm sure there are people just vouching for your demise. I know I sure am." Chris said, quirking up an eyebrow. "You've fucked with people logn enough, there has to be someone in Oz, that is just thinking of a perfect way to kill you. Decapitation? Stab wound? Poison in the food? Push down the elevator shaft? Choices, choices." Chris said. 

Howell threw her night stick against the bars, making Chris recoil back, his heatful stare, but now glare, not washing off of his face. "If McManus wasn't keeping dibs on my every move, you'd be dead Keller. Just keep running your gums, I'm sure we can make an arrangement for _your _demise. Just keep fucking with me." Howell said, stalking off, shaking her head about something. 

"That I will." Chris mused to himself as he watched Howell go. 

Once Howell was out of his sight, completely, Chris wandered back to the cell bed and plopped down on it; he let his back rest against the concrete of the cell, as he thought about his brief conversation with Toby. Toby still felt great, god he needed to get out of PC and get to Toby. And now with Howell's invasion, he had just another reason to kill her, he hated this shit hole. He hated being trapped and now finally seeing Toby again, feeling him against his skin, his motivation had just been notched up. 

*** 

Toby ruffled his hair tiredly, his reunion or whatever the hell it was, with Chris hadn't gone as he planned. Yeah he didn't envision, them breaking Chris out and escaping out of Oz and getting married (okay so maybe he did, but not at the moment), but he didn't envision their short conversation getting interrupted by Howell. Toby pushed the mail cart back in the mail room, and looked a little puzzled that Shillenger wasn't in the mail room but then it hit him. _He's probably giving Guenzel the prag welcome, _Toby thought to himself with sudden remorse. God what had he done? Toby ran his hand over his face, as all of his thoughts of Chris disappeared and thoughts of what he did to Guenzel hit him full on. Toby thought about how Guenzel had attacked him, mistreated him, humilated him in front of his biker friends, how all Toby had wanted to do was help protect Guenzel and Guenzel had been an asshole to him. But did that still justify just handing him over to Vern, when Toby knew exactly what was going to happen? Was there any justification in his coldness and eagerness to just hand over Guenzel to see Chris? What the fuck was justification anyhow? Now here Toby was trying to justify there being justification in Oz, in this world, god even in worlds before this one. 

"Thought you were visiting your loverboy." Robson said, coming into the mail room, he grabbed a handful of mail and started to read it, with an amused look in his eyes. He glanced up at Toby and smirked at him, remembering a time back when Toby had been a defenseless little prag. _Now those were the days, _Robson thought to himself. _Too bad they had to end, _Robson mused. 

"I already did." Toby said, shifting nervously. 

"Ah." Robson said, not saying anything else. 

Toby sufficed a sigh and walked out of the mail room, trying to get his mind off of Guenzel and what could be happening to him. 

*** 

"You're not working for the Sister anymore?" Catherine asked, as her and Beecher sat in the library, which at the moment was only occupied by the two of them. "Sister Pete tells me you quit, and you were transferred to the mail room?" Catherine questioned. 

Toby sighed, nodding. "Yeah, I'm working in the mail room now." 

"Isn't that where Vern Shillenger works?" Catherine asked, putting a yellow manilla enevelope down on one of the tables. 

"Yes." 

Catherine's eyebrows crinkled in confusion. "I don't understand Toby. Why would you want to leave a perfectly well job you have been working for the past five years, to work in the mail room with a man you hate?" Catherine asked, determined to find out what the hell was going on with Toby. "Does this have anything to do with Chris Keller?" Catherine suddenly asked. 

Toby straightened his body up. "Why would you ask that?" 

"Keller is in solitary, you can't get in, unless you work in the mail room..." Catherine droned on. 

"That's not why I asked to be transferred to the mail room. I've been working the same job for five years, I needed change." 

"It's not like you." Catherine pointed out. 

"Catherine." Toby said, not bothering to go on. 

Catherine sighed. "I've been doing some research on Chris's case." Catherine replied, opening up the manilla envelope. 

Toby leaned over the wooden table. "Yeah?" Toby asked, semi-fauxing interest. He was definitely interested in Chris's case, but his mind was still on Guenzel. How he had sworn to protect him and then in the end just gave him up like an old toy. 

"The court is insistent on giving Chris the death penalty, but if I can somehow ... in some way, find an accomplice to this, maybe a partner, a running buddy that did the deed or knows something about it; I might just be able to deter this whole case around." 

It was Toby's turn for his eyebrows to crinkle in somewhat confusion. "Chris says he didn't do it." Toby insisted, even though he knew deep down Chris did do it, but Toby would never breathe a word about that to anyone. "Why try to find a running buddy, if Chris is innocent of the murder of Bryce Tibbetts?" Toby asked, his old lawyer self shining a tiny bit. 

"I don't think you believe that Chris is totally innocent Toby, I don't either, but I _am _going to get him off. If we could just find the second guy in this, I might be able to lessen the sentence, turn it to life in here." Catherine said, tapping her fingers. 

Toby looked off a bit deep in his thoughts; _So I just have to find a guy to pin this on ... _Toby mused. 

*** 

Toby walked into the computer room briskly, and sat down in front of one of the computers in the farthest corner and got relaxed in the seat. From his earlier conversation with Catherine, it was very simple what he had to do. He had to find one of Chris's running buddies that were there during the killing of Tibbetts, or hell any other murder. _Too bad Balrog is dead, _Toby mused to himself as he went to www.google.com and began searching for articles on Chris Keller, he sure there had to be something. Toby scanned through the articles, stopped briefly on one where it said he had ordered the hit on a Hank Shillenger, Toby felt a little pinch of guilt on that one. Then Toby found another article that told about Chris being cleared of that case, once the "real" perp, as they put it, had confessed and was put in protective custody. Toby sighed, and stopped at an article of a "Mikey Miller", which also had Chris's name in there. Toby read the article and found what he might be looking for. He printed out the article, and headed straight for the mail room, in hopes he could get to Chris, to find out about this "Mikey Miller" guy, without Howell around. 

*** 

  
  


"Mail." Toby said, looking at Peterson, with a less nervous stare. 

"You know the drill, go on ahead." Peterson said, waving a dismissive hand and going back to the magazine he was reading. 

Toby nodded and walked briskly down solitary and straight to where Chris's cell was, he leaned against the bars and stared at Chris who was reading some magazine. "Chris." Toby said, his voice oddly in a soft and calm tone, unlike how he felt. 

Chris looked up and smiled. Chris dropped the magazine, rolled off of the bed and walked up to his side of the cell and smiled once more at Toby. "Didn't think I would see you so soon, got anymore 'mail' for me?" Chris asked, smirking. 

Toby wanted to touch Chris right now, but he was in a hurry, he wanted to get this done without getting caught, because he did, he just might as well forget in ever being allowed to deliever mail in solitary again. "I talked to Catherine about your case earlier." Toby said, frowning when he saw the disappointment in Chris's eyes. "She said if she could find a running buddy in Tibbett's murder, she could maybe lessen your sentence, get you life." Toby explained, touching Chris's hand. 

Chris looked down at Toby's hand, suddenly more frustrated that they were seperated by this damn cell, he then frowned. "A running buddy?" Chris asked. "Toby, I told her that I _didn't _kill Tibbetts, why would I need someone to pin the murder on if I didn't do shit huh?" Chris asked, his eyes holding a pissed off look in them. "Won't that make me look like I'm the fucking killer?" 

"Calm down." Toby said, shaking his head. "If we can find someone, a running buddy or someone who was at the murder and we somehow pin the murder on him, then you won't be the killer. Just like on the hit on Hank. Then you would have to finish your prior sentences here in Oz, out of solitary, most likely back in Em City. This is just the break we're looking for, I got a lead." 

"Heh, you sound like a cop, who is it?" Chris asked. 

Toby looked around and handed Chris the articles. 

Chris looked at the printed papers, reading the words on them, Chris suddenly frowned. "Mikey? You want to pin this on him?" 

"Was he there?" Toby asked. 

"Yeah." Chris answered. 

"Would he confess for the murders?" Toby asked another question. 

Chris shook his head. "In a way I guess. It would take a lot of magic fingers and a few more discreet things." 

"We can pin it on him." Toby said. 

Chris looked at Toby a bit unsure, but then he nodded, _anything to get out of this hell, _Chris mused to himself. "Do it."   


  


*** 

"Morales, I need to talk to you." Toby said, waiting for Morales to give him the okay to come in. 

"Make it good Beecher." Morales said, waving Toby in. 

Toby threw an envelope at Morales. "I want that man sent to Oz, I don't care how it happens, I want it done. If you want more money, I can get it done, I just don't want it traced back to me." Toby said, crossing his arms across his chest. 

Morales looked at the information of one "Mikey Miller" and then at the money Toby had put in the enevelope. "It's done." 

Toby nodded and the two shook hands. 

*** 

Toby cracked his back as he made his way into the gym, everything was set. Soon Mikey Miller should be set up for some crime and sent to Oz, and then from that, Toby would find a way to pin the Tibbetts murder on Mikey, yeah everything was planned and now Toby was in need for a workout, despite he was already sore from all this work he was doing. Toby went to go over to the weights, but stopped when he saw someone in the corner of the gym. Toby's eyes glistened over in softness and remorse as he saw that the body of the person cowering in the corner, naked, with cuts and bruises all over him was Adam Guenzel. Toby walked closer, knelt down and even tried to touch the bruised and probably no doubt raped young man, but Guenzel shied away from him, curled in a ball and from what Toby could assume, was crying, or a deep whimpering. Toby looked around the gym and let out a soft sigh. _God damn, what the hell have I done? _Toby thought as he just stood there staring at Guenzel softly.   



	4. Intentional Goodbyes And Intentional Hel...

**Author: **Dannette   
**Rating:** R   
**Summary: **Keller's going to make sure him and Beecher reunite, no matter what.   
**Time: **Season 5   
**Disclaimer:** None of the characters in this story belong to me, this is all fiction, thank you very much.   
**Warning: **This story is not for someone who doesn't like slash, or violence. In which this story has. This story has been stemmed from the show "Oz", which is rated TV-MA, mature audiences only, as most of the fiction about Oz. There is cussing, violence, relations between two men, murder, etc. The list really does go on. Now after reading this, do you still want to read the story? If so, go ahead, but remember ... I warned you. 

**Update - **Beecher and Keller talked, but were interrupted by Howell. Catherine and Beecher talked about Keller's case. Beecher came up with the plan of getting the 'acomplice' to pin the Tibbetts murder on. Beecher feels remorse for what he did to Guenzel, handing him over to Shillenger the way he did. Beecher and Morales work together. Beecher finds Guenzel in the gym. 

*** 

**A Plan Of Action**

*** 

Ryan O'Reily stared down at the prison cafeteria food with disinterest as he piled the trays on the cart; He threw off his kitchen cap or whatever they called it, even though he knew he was going to get shit about it later. He hated the way it looked, plus his head needed to breathe, plus it wasn't like the solitary guys were going to care if he wore a hat, just as long as they got their food. O'Reily snorted and began pushed the cart out of Em City and towards solitary, once he got to the entry-way of solitary, he gave a tip of his 'imaginary' hat to Peterson. "Here to feed the animals." O'Reily said, smirking as Peterson laughed at the joke. 

"Go on O'Reily, yo how is your brother doing?" Peterson asked. 

O'Reily sighed, at the subject of his brother. "You know, still in court and shit." O'Reily said, wheeling the cart full of food past Peterson. He shook his head and slowly began giving the food to the prisoners trapped in their little cells, he made sure to make a smart ass comment to each of them, very confident how funny he really was, even though they couldn't see it. _Morons, _O'Reily thought to himself. O'Reily smirked, he looked over at the silver cart and noticed he had one more lunch to serve and then he could actually eat his own lunch; _Thank the lord for little favors, _O'Reily mused to himsef, as he stood in front of the last cell. 

"Well, if it isn't Ryan O'Reily, how are ya doing?" Chris asked, jumping up from the cell bed. 

O'Reily looked at Chris and smirked, quirking up an eyebrow. "Well hey there, K-Boy." O'Reily said, handing Chris his lunch, then O'Reily leaned against the bars. "How's life behind bars treating you?" O'Reily asked, snorting, as he flicked his fingers against the cold bars of the cell, listening to the weird sound it made. "I would say we missed you in Em City, but hell we didn't." 

"Fuck you." Chris said, eating his lunch. 

"Heh." O'Reily merely said, shifting his weight. "Hey you and Howell do the ... " O'Reily wriggled his eyebrows. "Yet?" 

"Fuck no, she's tryin' though." Chris said. "Speaking of which ... " Chris droned on, suggestively. 

"Uh, what is it?" O'Reily asked. "'Cause I ain't like that K-Boy." O'Reily said, grinning. 

"No, you dumb ass. I'm talking about Howell, I've been thinking ... " 

"Which is always nice." O'Reily snapped. 

Chris turned his back to O'Reily and put the tray of food on his cell bed, he then turned back to O'Reily and shot him an annoyed look. "Will you let me get a damn sentence out, you big mouth? I'm trying to say something, and you keep inter---" 

"I'm what?" O'Reily said, purposely interrupting Chris. "Spit it out K-Boy, I don't have all day here." O'Reily said, smirking. 

"Oh just shut the hell up." Chris snapped, getting annoyed easily. "Like I was saying, before you kept annoying me by opening your mouth every second, I've been thinking about Howell, she's been around for too long. She keeps fucking with us, and right now I'm up to here with her and all the shit she does, aren't you?" Chris asked, leaning up against the bars, looking at O'Reily. 

"You know I am." O'Reily answered. "What's the plan K-Boy?" 

"We get rid of her, but you know I can't do shit, while I'm inside this damn shit hole." Chris said, sighing. 

"Considered it done." O'Reily said, sauntering away. "I'll see you later K-Boy, have a good lunch." O'Reily said, disappearing. 

Chris watched O'Reily walk off in his classic 'Ryan O'Reily' walk, once O'Reily seemed to be out of solitary, this was when Chris went back to his lunch. He ate his lunch with a grin on his face. Chris knew he could count on O'Reily to get the deed done. When O'Reily wanted to get something done, he got it done. Like O'Reily himself said, he was the lord of the fucking dance, he had moves. And despite if you hated O'Reily with a passion, everyone knew this, even damn Vern Shillenger knew this. Chris relaxed against the wall of the cell as he ate his lunch, and thought about the demise of Claire Howell. _A great day in Oz is happening today.___

*** 

Toby sat at a cafeteria table alone, staring sadly at the table full of Aryans and their prags, Toby's eyes narrowed at Guenzel who was sitting next to Shillenger as they all ate. Guenzel was dressed up as a girl, Toby took a bite of his bread, although not very hungry, just staring at Guenzel made Toby remember his time as a prag, when he had to dress up like that, feel that embarassment. Toby dropped his bread with a sad sigh, there was nothing Toby could do was stare at the damage he had created and let it eat him up inside. Guenzel was officially a prag and it was all his fault, a prisoner of his own emotions had killed someone else's. 

Kareem Said walked along with his group of following Muslims, he only stopped when he saw his friend Tobias Beecher eating at the table they had stopped at, all alone, sadly looking forward towards the Aryan table. Said looked over at the table and his eyes narrowed in confusion, could that possibly be Adam Guenzel? The friend Toby had asked him to help? Said frowned, he turned to his friends and motioned for them to continue on, that he would be busy. They knew the routine, he was going to talk to Beecher, they nodded and walked off. Once they were out of sight, Said put his food down and took a seat down next to Toby. 

Toby looked up and to the side where Said sat, he just nodded briefly at Said, and then went back to staring at the table. 

"Well, sadly, it seems that Shillenger got your friend anyways." Said said, shooting a sympathetized glance at Toby. 

"Yeah," Toby said, taking a bite of his corn, his eyes still holding a very remorseful look. "And it's all my fault." Toby finished. 

"How so?" Said asked, his full attention on Toby, wanting to desperately understand what Toby meant by his last statement. Said felt as if him and Toby hadn't talked like they used to, and he felt himself reaching out for his friend, what was wrong? What had gone wrong? What had Said missed? He suddenly felt remorse for not talking to Toby sooner, even though they talked every week in a counseling session with Vern Shillenger and Sister Peter Marie as the therapist, as she called herself. "Tobias?" 

"I handed Guenzel over to Shillenger." Toby explained. 

Said's eyes widened at Toby's last words. A part of him wanted to believe he didn't hear Toby right, but by the look on Toby's face, he knew he heard right, and now something was rumbling in the pit of his stomach. "Why?" Said asked, overcome with curosity. 

"In handing Guenzel over to Shillenger, he agreed to set up a meeting between Keller and I." Toby answered flatly. 

Said's shook his head angrily. "You handed a _boy, _a _boy _you wanted me to help protect only a few weeks ago to Shillenger, just so you could meet up with Keller? You let your desires get the better out of you, and now look at who has to suffer." Said spat out. 

"I saw him in the gym the other day, I can't get it out of my head. The way he looked so small is branded into my thoughts. I know what I did was wrong, and the shittiest thing, is that only a part of me is sorry. A part of me is actually happy, because I got to see   
Chris. I know what you think of this Said, you say sodomy is wrong, and I know it. A huge part of me knows what I feel is wrong, it's a sin, that it's a sin in God's eyes, and I wish ... god I wish I could stop feeling the way I do, but I can't. And it's killing me inside. It's killing me inside because I know that I love him, love him with everything inside of me, and he could do anything to me and I would love him. I can't even remember how it was to be in love with Genieve, and that is what stings the most. Because I'm so in love with Chris, that loving him is all I'm capable and it's the best thing I do. And god damn it, it's a sin, I'm unworthy of God's love. Allah's love. And you ... I'm unworthy of your friendship, because I am a disappointment in your eyes as well." Toby ranted. 

Said's eyes seemed to soften. "You are my friend." 

"Your gay friend." Toby spat out with venom. 

"My friend nonetheless, I do not approve of this thing you have with Chris, I worry about you. I've watched you change so many times in the past five years you have been here, and I have found an odd addiction to you. Maybe I should be saying this stuff to myself huh? Ariff and the rest of the Muslims say you do not belong, and yet I stand up for you whenever I can." Said replied. 

"I've destroyed Guenzel." Toby said, turning away from Said and looking back over at the table. "He'll never be the same." 

And sadly, Said had no idea what to say to this, so he just sat there by his friend, as they ate their lunch in silence. 

*** 

Claire Howell zipped up her denim jacket as she waited for the elevator to ding up to her floor so he could get in and go get some lunch, she was fucking starving. She let out a sigh, knowing it was probably broken, but didn't want to take the stairs. She was about to go towards the stairs but stopped abruptly, when she heard footsteps. "Who's there?" Howell shouted out. She looked around the hall way, she could hear that the footsteps were getting closer. "Come the fuck out, I'm not playing here." 

"Language, language." O'Reily said, emerging from behind the corner, he leaned against the frame of the concrete wall and smiled teasingly at Howell as he shook his finger first to the right then to the left in a slow motion. "How are you doing Claire?" O'Reily asked, his hips somewhat swaying back and forth in a seducing motion as he stared into the urbs of Howell's eyes, he flashed her a quick smile as she watched her catch her breath. "Didn't scare you, did I? I thought you were big and bad Claire." 

"Fuck you." Howell spat out. "What the hell are you doing wandering around here like that? Don't you have lunch duty?" She asked, air brushing her hair back, she watched the way O'Reily moved, _god damn that man has a seductive air to him, _Howell mused. 

"Looking for you." O'Reily said, pushing himself off of the wall with his left foot and walking towards Howell. 

"Yeah?" Howell asked, raising up an eyebrow. "Well what can I do for you?" She asked. 

"Heh." O'Reily snorted, laughing a little bit. 

"What's so damn funny?" Howell asked, her defense coming up. 

"No, nothing." O'Reily said, shaking a dismissive hand as he walked closer to her. "Just remembering what you used to do for me. Brings a little smile to my face." O'Reily said, circling around Howell slowly. "Heard you might be moving onto K-Boy." 

"Maybe. What, you jealous?" Howell said, snorting loudly. 

"Maybe." O'Reily said, looking at the elevator for a few seconds before going back to staring at Howell. "I just might be jealous." O'Reily said, running his finger gently across Howell's denim jacket. "Nice jacket." O'Reily hissed in Howell's ear. 

"Yeah?" Howell said, smirking. 

"Uh huh." O'Reily said, running a few more fingers over it. "Take it off." O'Reily commanded. 

"What?" Howell asked a little surprised, but nonetheless and handed it to O'Reily. "What the hell did you want with my jacket?" 

"Didn't want to get any blood on it." O'Reily mused; he touched the jacket delicately, liking the way it felt underneath his fingers. Reminded him of a jacket Cyril used to wear when he was little. O'Reily shook his head at the thought and threw the jacket neatly in the corner and turned back to Howell, he smirked at her. "Beautiful jacket, too pretty to be all messed up." 

"What the fuck do you mean?" Howell asked, trying to grab her gun from her holster, but groaned when she remember she had it fastened to her jacket, which was crumpled in the corner by O'Reily. "Enough of your damn bullshit O'Reily." Howell hissed. 

O'Reily grinned, shaking his head. "Bullshit." O'Reily said, still grinning. O'Reily reached in his pocket and put on the pair of black leather gloves. "I would put it the other way. Seems someone from solitary is very fond of you, told me to give you a gift." O'Reily said, scratching his chin amused. "You know, I'm not usually up for the whole killing chicks thing, but desperate times calls for desperate measures, if you know what I mean Claire. It's only fair to let you know, that Chris Keller says hope you have a good time. Guessed K-Boy really didn't like you messing with him. What K-Boy wants, K-Boy gets, plus I've wanted to see you dead for a long time sweetheart. It's not over until I say it's over, heh, remember saying that to me Claire?" O'Reily asked, grinning. 

Howell went to say something, but hearing the elevator door open with a ding made her grin, she went to run in, but noticed that the elevator seemed to be stuck because it didn't come out. "Fuck." She hissed, when she turned around O'Reily was just inches before her. "Okay, you've had your fun asshole, if you quit this now, I won't have you sent to solitary for the rest of your life." 

In one quick motion O'Reily had Howell by the cuff of her shirt. "I don't think you'll do that. It's not over until I say it is." O'Reily said, bending her over slightly, she began to squirm which made O'Reily grin. "It's over." With that said, O'Reily let go of Howell's shirt and pushed her down the elevator shaft; O'Reily watched her land on top of the elevator with a loud scream, he could see that she was moving. He shook his head, he reached inside the elevator and pushed the hault button off and with that the elevator jerked to life and began come up towards the top floor quickly. "Ding dong the witch is dead." O'Reily sang as Howell's screams deceased. 

*** 

"It's done." O'Reily said, leaning against the bars of Chris's cell. "She's out of the picture." 

Chris grinned. 

*** 

Sister Peter Marie sat in her chair, staring at the three people she was currently counseling at the moment, in their weekly group session: Tobias Beecher, Kareem Said and Vern Shillenger. She stared at them dubiously, as she waited for one of them to say anything, yet all three men did was sit in their own chairs. Toby and Said's close to each others, and Vern's a way offs but not too far. Her chair stood sort of in the middle, but a little out of the middle. She kept staring in between the three of them. She sighed heavily, she tapped her foot impatiently. "I talked with Adam Guenzel today." Sister Pete said, she quirked up an eyebrow, when this seemed to peak some sort of interest in all three men. I don't know what in the world is going on, but I want to know a little kernal of truth. What in the world is going on with him? He seems distant, closed off." Sister Pete droned on. 

Shillenger merely shrugged. 

Toby bit on his lip and followed in Shillenger's shrug. 

Said did nothing, but sit in his chair, and kept stealing glances at Toby. 

"That's a damn lie!" Sister Pete hollored. "I want to know what is going on, and I know you guys know. And if you three have any decency, you'll tell me right here, right now. Do any of you know what's going on? Vern?" Sister Pete asked, looking at him. 

"I don't know anything." Vern said, shaking it off. 

"Tobias?" Sister Pete asked looking at Toby hopefully. 

Toby choked for a moment, but then shook his head. "I have no idea what is going on." 

This seemed to agitate Sister Pete even more but then she turned to her last resort, the one person she knew wouldn't lie to her about this, hopefully. "Said?" She asked, continuing to stare at him, his silence giving her a bit of hope, in finding the truth. 

Toby looked over at Said quickly, trying to anticipate his friend's next move, but he had no idea what he was going to do. 

"Said?" Sister Pete repeated. 

Said kept a straight face, his eyes narrowed, he briefly looked over at Toby, which seemed to go unnoticed by Sister Pete. Said's lips were pursed together in a tight form, his body straight, as he let his thoughts run wild in his head where no one else could find them. He finally stared at Sister Pete full on, and knew what he would say. "No." He simply said. Not showing a face of remorse or anything. He knew it was wrong to lie about this, but there was no way, he would breathe a word about this, for Toby's sake. 

"I'm sick of being in a room with you three!" Sister Pete screamed, pushing herself up. "I _will _findout what happened. I will question Guenzel over and over until I find out what happened, and once I do, there will be hell to pay for!" Sister Pete hollored as she stomped out of the office, slamming the door behind her, finding herself more angry than she had been in a long time. 

Toby, Vern, and Said all just sat in the chairs, not saying a word. 

*** 

"Prag!" Vern screamed at Guenzel, ordering him over. 

Guenzel ran over to where Shillenger was and looked at him curiously but also fearfully. "Yes sir?" Guenzel answered. 

"It's your lucky day, we're going to help you escape." Vern said, smiling. 

"You're what?" Guenzel asked a bit shocked. 

"You heard me. We'll get you out to the yard, and then all you have to do is jump the gate, it's barbed wired, but it's nothing you can't handle and you're home free." Vern said smiling nicely, but behind that smile, held a very devious smile, a very evil one. 

*** 

Toby sat at the cafeteria table, going over a few loose ends on the whole 'acomplice' thing as he tried to get his mind off of Chris and Guenzel, Toby looked up when he saw McManus whisking over to him, with a weird look on his face. Suddenly something inside of Toby clenched up, muscles tightening. Something was wrong, Toby could see it, Toby bit on his lip dubiously. 

"Beecher ... " McManus started, once he made his way over to Toby. 

"Yeah?" Toby asked. 

"Adam Guenzel is dead." McManus said sadly. 

"Wha -- what?" Toby asked, truly shocked. 

"Seems he was trying to escape, he got as far as the gates, he tried to hop the barbwire, I assume he didn't know that the gate was an electric fence, he ... " McManus trailed off, taking in the sad face of Tobias Beecher, he didn't know what to say. 

"He was electrified to death." Toby finished for McManus. 

"I'm so sorry." McManus said, walking off sadly. 

Toby shook his head and looked up and froze when he saw Said staring at him from where the pods were, up the stairs. 

_Dead, _Toby thought while he continued to stare at Said. 

*** 

Back at Unit B, all the Aryans were laughing, imitating how Guenzel died; Vern Shillenger let out a hearty laugh. 

*** 

Officer Jean Claude stood at the arrival/leaving section of Oswald Penitary, as she read the newest prisoner and to Em City his rights, about what goes on in Oz and what doesn't go in on Oz. "Welcome to Oz, Miller." She said, just saying his last name. His full name would be Michael Peter Miller, but in Oz, you mostly went by your last name, that was how you did it everywhere. 

Mikey Miller just stared at the opening of Em City, and grumbled.   



	5. Questionable Amiabilities

**Author: **Dannette   
**Rating:** R   
**Summary: **Keller's going to make sure him and Beecher reunite, no matter what.   
**Time: **Season 5   
**Disclaimer:** None of the characters in this story belong to me, this is all fiction, thank you very much.   
**Warning: **This story is not for someone who doesn't like slash, or violence. In which this story has. This story has been stemmed from the show "Oz", which is rated TV-MA, mature audiences only, as most of the fiction about Oz. There is cussing, violence, relations between two men, murder, etc. The list really does go on. Now after reading this, do you still want to read the story? If so, go ahead, but remember ... I warned you. 

**Update - **Keller and O'Reily talk. Beecher and Said talk about Guenzel and other things. O'Reily kills Howell. Shillenger, Beecher and Said lie to Sister Pete about Guenzel in their group session and she is angered. Guenzel dies. Mikey Miller arrives in Oz. 

*** 

**A Plan Of Action**

*** 

Tim McManus rubbed his eyes angrily, making the skin around his eyes go to a bright red from their usual white color. How many times could he look at the body? He couldn't stop. He dealed with death everyday but staring at Claire Howell's smashed and bloodied body, sent him a chill up his spine. It wasn't like he loved her or anything, hell he hardly liked her, but god no one really deserved to die this cruelly, it was just a horrible way to die. But whoever did it, obviously knew what they were doing, because all the CO's told him that there were no fingers prints anywhere. Yes, this whole thing disturbed McManus, a dead CO on his hands, this was not good at all. He watched the paramedics put Claire's sickingly prone body into a black body bag, McManus turned away in disgust. He felt his earlier food start to want to come up as he heard the distinct sound of the body bag zip up. McManus gripped the wall for support as he felt a wave of nasuea come over him, he felt like he was either going to vomit or pass out. He slid down the wall and sat down on the floor, his knees crushing against his chest. He gripped onto his head as he began to massage his temples, hoping it would somehow make him feel better in any way, it didn't. The smell of death was everywhere. 

"Are you okay Tim?" The warden of Oz, Leo Glynn, said, bending over as he continued to stare at his friend. 

"God, no." McManus said, still massaging his temples. "Did you see it?" McManus asked, finally looking up at his friend. "It's fucking horrible. I didn't even like her, but fuck." McManus grunted, banging the back of his head against the concrete wall slightly. "I've seen death before, but damn it, her body ... just the way it looks, her eyes. God those eyes. Wide open. When everything else is broken and bloodied and covered, her wide eyes are the one thing that stands out. She knew what was going to happen." 

Glynn pulled McManus up and steadied him. "Let's not think about this Tim." 

"How can we not? How can *I* not think about it? When that look in her eyes is just branded in my memory. How shitty is that? To know you're going to die a horrible death like that? It's fucked up, and whoever did it is fucked up." McManus hissed out. 

"Let's get us some coffee, believe me, we need it." Glynn said, he cast a look at the body bag sadly. 

"Yeah, we definitely do." McManus said, looking at the same thing, before they both walked away from the body bag. 

*** 

Sister Pete sat at her perfectly polished wooden desk, her hands gripping onto the case file, which she knew was just yesterday's news. She released the grasp onto the yellow colored file and ran her fingers across the name etched across the front of the file in big, messy letters in black permenant ink that read: **Adam Guenzel. **Her heart ached, she looked at the picture of him, his mug shot when he first arrived in Oz, and his continued to ache. He looked so young, he _was _so young, and now he was just another member of the Oz R.I.P. as some of the inmates here called it. She had wanted to help him, but before she could even try, he had ended up dead. And the questioning part of her couldn't help but point the blame at one of the three men in her group session class yesterday. Tobias Beecher, Kareem Said and Vern Shillenger. She had told them she would find out what happened no matter what, and then suddenly out of the blue Guenzel ended up dead. She felt the urge to scream at those three men the next she saw them, she didn't care if she was screaming at the innocent one, even if all three of them were innocent, she just wanted to scream at them, she wanted to grab them by the shoulders and scream at them. Especially Tobias Beecher. She wanted to give him a slap upside the head, to make him see what he didn't try to stop. She wanted to hurt him. God, she was so mad. She hadn't felt this mad since she found out that she was just a ploy in Chris Keller's plan to get Toby back a few years ago. Yes, this was how mad she was right now. He was just so young and had so much to do with his life, a life he no longer had, she wanted someone to see that. A part of her wondered if somehow she could have prevented it. But how? Damn it, she was so angry, so resentful. 

_Damn you Tobias, _Sister Pete thought to herself. She knew deep down that something had happened, more than Toby had let on, and that made her even more angry. First he had asked to be transferred to the mail room and then he just ended up not even caring about what happens to Guenzel anymore? It was as if, he was concentrated on something else. Someone else. And now this got her to the very edge of her anger. Chris Keller. That was who Toby had been thinking about instead the welfare and safely of Adam Guenzel. In the big run to Toby, Chris had been more important, and now a young man was dead because of it. 

*** 

Said stood in the gym as he watched Toby punch the punching bag; Said sighed and let himself travel into his thoughts. Adam Guenzel was dead. By now, it had traveled all over Oz, although Said had gotten the news from Toby. Although Said hadn't really known Guenzel, the news of his death was hitting him hard as well. He had lied. He had lied in the group session because of one little fact. To protect his friend. Did he feel remorseful about protecting Toby in a way? No. But he did feel remorseful for refusing to help Guenzel, when Toby had asked him to?Yes. Maybe if he did, this whole situation would have been able to be avoided. But it was no use in thinking about that now, was there? Adam Guenzel was dead, and nothing was going to bring him back. Said wanted that to be it, he wanted to be able to drop the whole subject, but how could he? A young man was dead. And he hadn't helped. So yes, in a way he did feel responsible. He felt as if he was a part of this whole charade. Another person was lost. Another lost soul. Was it even about Allah anymore? Maybe not. It was just about another person dying before having a real chance to find themselves. _There was nothing you could do, _Said kept telling himself, but as much as he said it, he couldn't believe a word of it. 

Said looked up once more, and frowned when he saw Toby pounding the punching bag with no coordination, but the way his punches landed, it sure looked like he was hurting himself. "Tobias ... " Said said, pushing himself up, he walked to Toby and grabbed his arm to stop the awful assualt on the inanimate object and on Toby's hands. Speaking of, as Said looked down at the sweaty hands, he saw the cuts on his knuckles, and frowned as the blood mixed with the sweat. "Hurting yourself can not bring back Adam, come on, we should get you to the medics." Said said, smiling slightly for his friend. 

"He's dead, he's fucking dead." Toby said, his eyes cold. "Shillenger did it." 

"We all know this." Said said, as they slowly walked to the hospital ward of Oz. 

"And I'm responsible. Adam was my responsibility, I told myself I would try to protect him, and I didn't do that." Toby said sadly. 

"No one did that." Said said quietly. 

*** 

"What happened?" Doctor Gloria Nathan asked as she looked own at the badly cut hands of Tobias Beecher. Her eyes softened at how deep the cuts were, perfectly deep enough to cause real pain, deep enough to make them take a long time to heal. Gloria turned her back to Toby and Said for a moment to get the neccessities to fix Toby's hands up, as she awaited a reply. 

"I guess I hit the punching bag too hard." Toby said, wincing as Gloria began "fixing" up his hands, although it didn't feel like she was fixing them up, actually it felt like she was killing him. "Fuck!" Toby cursed. "Sorry." He apologized sympathetically. 

"It's okay, I guess we're all allowed to cuss during pain." Gloria said with a smile. "Maybe you ought to be more careful when you work out. The cuts on your hands are deep, like you kept punching the punching bag after the initial opening of the wounds." 

"My head was in a different place." Toby said, waiting impatiently for Gloria to hurry up and finish with his hands. 

Said just stood in the background watching, not saying a word. 

"Well, like I said, be more careful." Gloria commented. "Okay, you're done, you're free to go." Gloria said, still smiling. 

"Yeah, thanks." Toby said, jumping off of the hospital bed, he looked down at his white bandaged hands and grimaced as him and Said left the hospital ward. Toby's hands felt like they were on fire, but for the moment it was worth it. For Guenzel, it was. 

*** 

McManus sat at his desk as he stared at the file case of Adam Guenzel, he shook his head as he opened his filing cabinet and put it in with all the other deceased inmates of Oz. _Lost another one, _McManus thought to himself, with a self-depricating tone to his thoughts. He lost someone everyday in this place, it was nothing new, nothing he could prevent. But damn it hurt. It hurt, because everytime one of them died, he lost a little more of his vision, of the dream he had for Oz in the beginning. 

*** 

Toby slowly walked into the mail room, he then slowly made his way over to where all the mail was, but then his eyes froze when he saw, no felt, Vern's presence in the room. Toby had to remind himself not to clinch his fists, he really wanted to beat the holy living shit out of Vern after what he did to Guenzel, did Vern hold no compassion? Toby had to snort at that, of course not. 

"What's wrong sweet pea, you sad about our poor loss?" Vern said, cocking his head to the side. 

"You bastard." Toby said, staring at Vern head on. "You god damn bastard." And suddenly everything seemed to blur into Toby's mind, as he pummeled Vern down to the ground. He didn't care about the pain in his hands, he just wanted Vern to pay for the death of Guenzel, he wanted Vern to feel some pain. They rolled around a bit, sharing punches, but then the loud voices of ... no not guards, but McManus and Glynn entered Toby's ears, and he then felt himself being pulled off of Vern and held back. 

"Calm it down you two!" McManus screamed, holding Toby back. 

"Take a fucking walk." Glynn said to either Toby or Vern. 

"I will." Toby said, pushing McManus way from him. "I have mail to deliever." Toby snapped, he grabbed the mail cart and wheeled it out of the room, His anger was rising. Not just at Vern, but at the whole damn situation. Fuck. Another person's death that will be carried on his shoulders, this wasn't really what Toby wanted. He already had Andy Shillenger, Hank Shillenger, and his own damn son's death on his shoulders, and now Adam Guenzel was on that list too, this was just dandy, yep candy and roses. 

*** 

"Damn, ain't he the tempermental thing?" Vern asked, air brushing off his clothes and picking up the fallen pieces of mail. He shot a grin at McManus and Glynn, in which he knew that was driving them insane, that was why he did, he shot one more grin for the hell of it. His head felt like it was going to explode, Damn, Toby really had learned to throw a few punches since five years ago. 

Glynn sighed and left the mail room with McManus on his heels. 

*** 

"We have to do something about this." McManus said, entering his office after Glynn, McManus slammed the door behind him. McManus rounded to his desk and stood behind it. "You, as I know, that this whole Beecher/Vern fight, is not the least of our problems here. Claire's death is a big item here. We all may have not liked her, but like you said once, she _IS _a human being, or was, and she used to work here, which inclines me to actually give a shit when she gets killed." McManus roared. 

"Don't turn Sherlock Holmes on me here." Glynn said, rubbing his forehead. "Tim, we'll do a memorial to her, pay our respects and that's the end of the case. We're not some sly and sleek dectective guys off of Homicide: Life on the streets." 

"I know we aren't, but can't we do something?" McManus asked. 

"Unfortunately not, people die Tim, it happens." Glynn pointed out sadly. "We still have a prison to run, with alive people." 

*** 

Mikey stood in the long and very loud line of the rest of the inmates of ... Oz, as he over-heard it was called, some sort of nickname for the real name: Oswald Penitary System. All of these men, as they loudly chatted about anything and everything, were waiting for the same thing he was, lunch. Prison lunch. Yeah, this was just fucking great. Mikey ran a hand over his face, as he slowly made it to the front of the line, he watched as a prisoner, a very good looking young man, with spiky hair, and a four leaf clover tattoo splashed the food on his plate and motioned for him to move along, which he did. After Mikey got his food, he picked a bare table and sat down and began to eat his food, as he let his thoughts run wild inside of his head, the most private place to be. No one had access to get there, no one in the whole damn world, not even himself sometimes. Mikey looked around the prison and kept himself content on making sure he found a way out of this shit hole. He wasn't fit for prison, he would die in here. Sure he was tough as nails, he just didn't like being around all these people. They all seemed to have their own groups, their own friends, their own religions, their own ... boyfriends and/or prags, there were the drag queens, the Italians, the Latinos, the Irish, the Aryans, the Blacks, (two sorts of blacks too ... Muslims and the gangsters) there were the Bikers, the list went on. He felt out of place. And god damn it, Mikey hated it when he was out of place. And plus he was set up, he didn't deserve to be here, he would get out. 

And that would be on his word, if not, he would find a popular guy around here to leech off of. 

*** 

"Mail." Toby said to Peterson, who usually just nodded and approved him, instead came closer to him. "What?" Toby asked. 

"What happened to your hands?" Peterson asked, a little curiously. 

"Got in a fight." Toby answered. 

"Ah, well go on ahead Beecher." Peterson said, smiling friendly. "And get better!" 

"Thanks, I will." Toby said, wheeling the cart into the rest of the way into solitary. Carl Peterson was actually one of those nice guys, who got a really screwed up job and was bored all the time and would chat with you on anything. He made all the other CO's look like the devil, compared how friendly and chatty he was. Toby shook his head at the thought and gave a few of the prisoners in their cells their mail, answering the question over and over about what happened to his hands. He then finally made it to Chris's cell. This actually brought a smile to his face, and he was actually here to deliever real mail. Toby grabbed the magazine and rolled it up in his hand and batted it against the bars of the cell lightly, making sure he didn't mess up the magazine, but got Chris's attention. 

"Hmm?" Chris asked, looking up, he smiled startled, when he saw Toby. "Hey!" Chris rolled out of the cell bed, landing on his feet, he then walked over all the way to his side of the cell and graciously took the magazine, he glanced at he magazine and threw it on his bed, he then turned back at Toby, and frowned, finally seeing the white ace bandage all over both of his hands. 

"It's nothing." Toby answered, before Chris could ask ... 

"What happened to your hands?" Chris asked, anyways. 

"I hit the punching bag too hard, my knuckles got a little injured up, I'm fine though. How are you?" Toby asked. 

"Bored." Chris answered, busily staring at the bandage on Toby's hands, he recogonized the coloring of it, the way it was swirled around the usual un-markable hands of Toby's, he recogonized everything he could, before taking Toby's left hand first gently. Chris then started to un-do the bandaging, which managed to get a squeak out of Toby, but Toby didn't say a word. Chris finally got the bandaging off and stared at the now beginning to heal cuts. Chris stared down at them as if they were a piece of art, he then began doing the same thing to the right hand of Toby's. Once Toby's hands were both unbandaged and branded into his memory, Chris looked into Toby's eyes, which held a soft look in them. "I love you." Chris said, his bottom lip twitching into a grin. 

Toby let out a shuddering sigh, hearing those words again. "I love you too." 

And in the background, a not-so-suprised Catherine McClain watched them in silence, as she held an envelope.   



	6. Shocking Realizations, Make-Believe Frie...

**Author: **Dannette   
**Rating:** R   
**Summary: **Keller's going to make sure him and Beecher reunite, no matter what.   
**Time: **Season 5   
**Disclaimer:** None of the characters in this story belong to me, this is all fiction, thank you very much.   
**Warning: **This story is not for someone who doesn't like slash, or violence. In which this story has. This story has been stemmed from the show "Oz", which is rated TV-MA, mature audiences only, as most of the fiction about Oz. There is cussing, violence, relations between two men, murder, etc. The list really does go on. Now after reading this, do you still want to read the story? If so, go ahead, but remember ... I warned you. 

**RECENTLY - **McManus mourns over the death of Claire Howell. Thoughts of Guenzel's death from Sister Pete, Beecher, and Said occur. Beecher and Keller seem to have some sort of reunion, and Catherine watches in the background. 

**NOTE - **Yes a bit short, way shorter than my usual chapters, but it fits everything in that is needed. 

*** 

**A Plan Of Action**

*** 

Catherine watched in the background, not so surprised, but a part of her felt shock, maybe betrayal, maybe a little of heartache in there. But looking at those two, Toby on the outside of the the cell and Chris on the inside, they looked like some forbidden couple or something like that. Yeah, like those couples in the books, that she never spent time in believing in. Love in the darkest of places. That was what she saw when she looked at the two of them, oblivious to the rest of the world. Oblivious to the fact that she was standing there and watching them. Or at least she thought so, but a quick turn of Chris's head and his eyes landing on her for a few seconds before going back to Toby was not something in her imagination. He had looked straight at her, and for what? To show her that he had been right along? That Toby had always truly loved Chris all along? And with sudden realization, she became curious. What did this Chris guy have? Catherine particuarly found herself attractive, down to her hair to her petite figure. And she thought Toby had *loved* her, but was it love at all? Was it just simple want or need? Because he was without the person he truly loved and she had been the cookie cut, perfect, idealistic image of what he was supposed to love? Was that it? No attraction? Just the need of affection, to know that he could still be loved, even if Chris Keller left him or pushed him away? Could that possibly be it. Or was it really possible to love two people and that was Toby was doing? Loving her and Chris at the same time? 

She was being illogical, this much she knew. But the reality really didn't live up to her expectations. She wanted the picnic, perfect family portrait life and with Tobias Beecher that seemed possible. He was perfect, despite his past relations in Oz, he was the perfect guy. Now she was striked with curosity once more. She had always thought Beecher was the blue collared looking guy, the sort of guy you would *love* to bring home to your parents and they would in return love him back, but was that all she liked about Toby? Was there that long aching looks she was seeing between Toby and Chris? Did she know his every little whimper or look? Could she read him like an open book if the time would come that she had to? Could she love his two remaining children as her own? Could she ever understand the pain he has been through? She wasn't sure. No, she was sure ... she couldn't. 

As Catherine held onto the thick yellow envelope, her grasp on the envelope, making the paper crumple up a bit, when she realized she was doing so, she lightened her grasp. Why was she here? Oh yes, updates on Chris's case. Weird thing really, the case had turned itself upside down on all it's own. But how could she speak, after realizing this? Especially, since Chris was just expecting her to do something, by the way he had purposely glanced at her real quick, as if to say "nanana", how lucky he should be that Toby still had no idea that his "girlfriend" was watching this ... what was it? A reunion? Yes reunion. Could she just glide over there and act like it was nothing seeing her boyfriend making ga-ga eyes at his boyfriend who was in solitary, (well actually proctective custody, hence the name 'PC' but to others it was solitary) awaiting the trial of murdering Bryce Tibbetts who all three of them knew he did it, but she was nonetheless getting him or at least trying to get him out of? Oh yeah she could. Easy, right? 

_Piece of symbolical cake, _Catherine mused, as she walked over to where Toby and Chris were seemingly talking, they couldn't be kissing, since well there were bars in the way. Catherine's high heel shoes made a loud clicking sound before she finally stopped besides Toby. "Ahem," she coughed, clearing her throat. "Sorry to interrupt, but important news." Catherine snapped. 

In hearing Catherine's voice, Toby seemed to freeze up, he pulled away from the bars and stared at Catherine, everything inside of him feeling as if it had just gotten frostbite or something terminally frozen. He felt like stone, like Medusa herself had turned him to stone. Or maybe some guy who could not speak, because right now he couldn't even come up with an explanation to Catherine. "What is it?" seemed to be the only thing that could come out of Toby's mouth, now he felt like a bastard. "Catherine ... " 

Catherine brought her hand up. "I think Chris might want to hear this." Catherine cut off Toby's half-assed attempt to explain this whole situation. "You just might find this interesting," Catherine stopped briefly, staring at both Toby and Chris looking at her interested and silent. "It seems that Chris, your case had taken an unexpected turn. An eyewitness on the night of the murder of Bryce Tibbetts has your whereabouts pinned down, where you guys were, what you were doing, even a group full of guys you were hanging out. He also names the *real* yet convicted felon we are looking for." Catherine said professionally. 

Toby looked at Chris, a little surprised. 

Chris somehow managed to act like he was expecting the news that he wasn't the *real* guy in this whole case, but in reality, there was something definitely shocking about this. "Well who was the key eyewitness or whatever you call him?" Chris asked. 

"Two of them actually. Your brothers Angelo and Dominic Keller. They also name a one "Mikey Miller" as the killer, which I'm informed that Mr. Miller is here in Oswald. Like I said, your case completely took an unexpected turn." Catherine announced. 

"Not that I'm not happy," Chris started, he then paused for a few seconds to look over at Toby who seemed perplexed by this whole thing, Chris shook his head and turned back to Catherine. "and not that I'm *not* innocent, but what ... damn it ... Toby, what's that word I'm looking for? Jesus, you know the word, what is it?" Chris asked, looking at Toby for help. 

"Hardcore evidence." Toby said. 

"Yeah." Chris said, nodding to what Toby said. "What is the hardcore evidence you have that Mikey is the killer and I'm not?" Chris asked. "So yeah, you got my brothers saying I was with them, and I was with them, but what else do you have?" 

Toby nodded. "If I may interject here, I agree with Chris. Without definite hardcore evidence, you have nothing in court." 

"I do have hardcore evidence." Catherine said, a bit pissy at the way they seemed to fit each other perfectly, down to the point they were finishing each other sentences and being all cutesy. _Ugh, _Catherine thought. "We have a confessor." 

This made Toby look even more shocked. 

"Who?" Chris asked. 

"Your brother Dominic." Catherine stated, not missing the look in Chris's eyes. Pure shock. 

*** 

"Catherine!" Toby screamed, running after Catherine. "Let me explain about earlier, what you saw ... " 

"I don't think you want to explain it." Catherine interjected, her eyes holding a serious look in them. "Because all that needed to be said or explained was shown in a moment which I was obviously not supposed to see, but did. But in all reality, let's see where this conversation is going to lead us. You are going to try to find some half logical, good sounding explaination of what that was. No you guys weren't staring at each other like you two were the only one alive in this universe, no that wasn't what I saw at all." 

Toby sighed softly. "Catherine just wait, let me say ... " 

"Chris's hearing is this week, after that, it's you two, no complication. With this turn, you know with Dominic confessing to the murder of Bryce Tibbetts and Dominic also pulling Mikey Miller down for the fall, Chris has a huge chance at winning life in Oswald. So all in all, after this week, it's just have a good life Toby." Catherine said, walking off before Toby could interject. 

*** 

Toby laid on his bunk in his pod, he looked outside of the glass surface of the pod and stared at his mission for the moment. Until Chris's hearing, Toby had deciced to do everything he could do to find out about and keep marks on what Mikey, as he liked to be called instead of Miller, was doing around here in Oz. Toby made a crunching sound with his jaw, as he watched Mikey straddling one of the chairs, watching some stupid educational television show that McManus was making all of them watch. Toby pulled his eyes down to a book pretending he was reading something, when Mikey caught him staring. Toby groaned, as he watched out of the corner of his eyes, as Mikey descend towards the stairs and closer to his pod, _shit ... _Toby mused. 

Two knocks on the pod door, before Mikey finally let himself in. "You're Beecher right?" Mikey asked. 

"Yeah." Toby said, sitting up in his bunk. "How can I help you?" Toby asked. 

"I would ask you the same thing, you've been staring at me, like massively." Mikey said, flashing a quick grin. 

_Oh yeah, this is definitely one of Chris's running buddies, _Toby thought to himself. "Oh sorry, I just watch. Not you particularly, just all sorts of people, thinking of things, of places I used to go to, I guess I just blank out and end up staring at someone." 

"Uh huh." Mikey said, leaning against the sink in the pod. 

"I wasn't staring." Toby insisted. 

"I was set up." Mikey said out of nowhere. 

"What?" Toby asked, confused at the change of a subject. 

"I was set up, I'm not supposed to be here, or in any sort of prison. Someone set me up, framed, I don't know why though. But I'm going to find out, and hey you're popular around here right?" Mikey asked. "Because I'm thinking, you can help me." 

"Sure." Toby said, not really up on the option in buddying it up with a guy he was intent on convicting of a crime, but as long as they were "buddies", Mikey wouldn't be too much of a problem. "Of course I can help you, I know a lot of guys here." 

"Cool, man. So yeah Mikey Miller." Mikey said, putting his hand out. 

"Tobias Beecher." Toby said, shaking Mikey's hand.   



	7. "There Is No Bad In Oz"

**Author: **Dannette   
**Rating:** R   
**Summary: **Keller's going to make sure him and Beecher reunite, no matter what.   
**Time: **Season 5   
**Disclaimer:** None of the characters in this story belong to me, this is all fiction, thank you very much.   
**Warning: **This story is not for someone who doesn't like slash, or violence. In which this story has. This story has been stemmed from the show "Oz", which is rated TV-MA, mature audiences only, as most of the fiction about Oz. There is cussing, violence, relations between two men, murder, etc. The list really does go on. Now after reading this, do you still want to read the story? If so, go ahead, but remember ... I warned you. 

**RECENTLY - **Catherine delievers some shocking news on Keller's case. Catherine and Beecher go their seperate ways. And in a shocking turn of events, Beecher befriends Mikey Miller. 

**NOTES - **Thanks to Grace, for all the reviews. You really helped me get motiviated. And special note, yes I know that the characters may be as one reviewer said: "limp" in this story, but you have to realize it takes a while to get your hang on fanfiction, especially since you haven't written in a while. You first story back is not the best piece of art. I can assure there will be better, but like I said, your first story back since you haven't written in a LONG time, will not be a pulitzer prize story. Thank you. As for the whole my writing is "weak", I think it's wrong to say someone's writing is weak. How do you think that will make them feel? Not good, I can assure. Some people might actually give writing up over a comment like, luckily I came from a family that when someone says they can't do something right, they continue doing it in the way THEY want to, to throw it in everyone's faces. So weak or not, I shall continue writing, and please if you don't like it, don't comment badly, saying how my writing is weak. 

*******

**A Plan Of Action**

*******

"So what did you do to get yourself landed in Oz?" Mikey asked, taking a seat in a bare cafeteria table next to Toby. "You don't look like the sort of guy who got himself in here by serial killing and shit like that, although I have heard some interesting stuff about you." Mikey said, grinning as he popped open his little container of orange juice. "But really man, what did you do?" He asked. 

"Drunk driving, hit a little girl, killed her." Toby answered biting into his apple. 

"Shit man, sorry." Mikey said, then turning his body all the way to Toby's. "So you used to be a lawyer? From what I hear." 

"Yeah, I used to be. But when I killed Kathy Rockwell, the little girl, they disbarred me from being a lawyer." Toby replied, looking at the red shiny apple, that had one bite taken out of it. "What were you before you got framed and sent here?" Toby asked. 

"I was a nobody, doing a lot of nobody shit." Mikey replied, grinning. "And that my friend was god damn deep!" 

Toby laughed. "No seriously Mikey." 

"I was working as a mechanic at my dad's shop, minium wage. So yeah, then I met up with guy named Keller right? Last name Keller, first name Chris. So, yeah, he showed me a world that my dad didn't force on me. We were sort of running buddies. Best friends and all that shit, I guess you can say. Haven't talked to him in like five or six years, got sent to Lardner." 

Toby nodded, not knowing what to say. "So he's in Lardner?" Toby asked. 

"From what I hear." Mikey said, shrugging. "But like I said man, I haven't really kept up on Chris. I think he was sent to Lardner. Maybe some other prison, I don't quite know. You sort of remind me of him." Mikey said, staring at Toby. 

"Yeah, how so?" Toby asked. 

"You got a glow to you, kinda brighter than Chris's, you're special, I can see that. You make guys like me, happy to have you as a friend and all that. You make guys like me and Chris want to be smart, so we can give you something back." Mikey mused. 

_Oh fuck, I feel bad now, _Toby thought. "I'm not *that* special Mikey." 

"You went to college right?" Mikey asked. 

"Yeah, you have to graduate from college to officially be a lawyer, so yeah I went to college." Toby answered. 

"Did you go to one of those junior colleges?" Mikey asked, propping his elbows up comfortably. 

"Yeah, both me and my brother Angus. My dad desperately wanted us to be lawyers. So I went to junior college, it's just like a whole preparation for real college, just gets you ready for everything that is going to hit you." Toby explained. 

"I never went to college. My parents didn't have enough money, so I never went. But yeah, you seem like one of those college guys, bet you were at the top of your class, all those rich snoots wanting to kick your ass in law and never did." Mikey said, smiling. 

Toby smirked. "Now only if they could see me now. Good ol' Toby in prison, yucking it up with known criminals who are my best friends." Toby said, a bit bitterly. "Hey can I ask you something personal?" Toby asked, biting his lip. 

"Go for it." Mikey said. 

"Have you ever you know with a you know." Toby asked. 

"You're shy, that's funny man." Mikey said, laughing. "Yeah, I did, you?" 

Toby looked around, as if expecting to see someone to pop up. "When I first got here ... " Toby let out a breath. "You know Shillenger right?" Toby asked, when Mikey nodded, Toby went on. "Well I was his, ... well prag." Toby exclaimed. 

Mikey frowned, but not in a disgusted sort of way. "That shit head ... he deserves to die." Mikey droned off. 

And now somehow Toby came up with the idea, that pretending to be Mikey's friend, wasn't the best idea after all. Toby wasn't quite sure if he was imagining this all, but in the few days him and Mikey had become "friends", things were getting personal. And where had his brain been when he told Mikey he had been Shillenger's prag? God he was demented sometimes. 

*** 

"Mai ... " Toby started but Peterson cut him off. 

"Beecher, we know the real reason you came by here, almost everyday saying you got mail, just go see him." Peterson waving Toby off. "From what I hear, Keller might be getting out of here, so go do that chatting thing you guys do when 'mail' time comes." 

Toby smirked and walked down the hall to Chris's cell. "Hey." 

"Hey." Chris said, already leaning against the bars. "So," Chris said, touching Toby's knuckles, that seemed to be all healed up. "How is that whole Mikey thing going?" Chris asked, a little curious. Toby had told him about the befriending plan, and Chris would be lying if he said he was a bit dubious about the whole thing, but whatever got him back to Em City, was cool with him. 

Toby wanted to say it was getting personal, because when Toby looked at Mikey he got the weird vision of Guenzel, young and trusting, and Toby knew in the end he was just going to hand him over, another young person dying, all because of his need to have Chris Keller in his life. And Toby also wished he could feel bad about that, a 100 percent bad about that, but the prospect of having Chris in his life, in a pod with him, spending nights with him, outweighed everything else. Was that wrong of him? Was it wrong to let all these people die because of his yearning and unconditional love for Chris? Yes. It indeed had to be. First Guenzel and now Mikey would be getting the death penalty instead of Chris. But everyone else in Oz getting death penalty besides Chris was just fine with him. Just as long as he got Chris at the end of this whole melodramatic unending saga of death and love. 

"You're thinking." Chris said accusingly. 

"Yeah, it happens a lot." Toby said, smiling. 

"You never answered my question." Chris said, staring at Toby. 

"It's going good. He likes me, he is telling me things, he trusts me." Toby said, making himself sound like the anti-Christ or something. "Maybe I'm a little remorseful about this now. He really does trust in me Chris, he thinks I'm his friend, and I just wish in the end end I didn't have to symbolically or if not literally, stab him in the back. But ... I have to." Toby mused. 

Chris sighed. "You think too much with your heart too much." 

"If I didn't, I would never be here with you." Toby retorted. 

"Good one." Chris said, smiling widely. 

"Did you talk to your brother yet?" Toby asked, suddenly very curious as in why Dominic was confessing to the murder. Didn't Dominic know that by confessing he was getting death? He was going to die. Didn't Dominic realize this? Chris had told him all sort of evil stories about his older brother Dominic, how Dominic was a bastard and never loving him, but now here he was taking the death penalty for Chris, it just seemed like a whole puzzle to him. And Tobias Beecher loved puzzles. 

"No, not yet. I don't think we're going to meet until the hearing." Chris answered. "I wish you could come." 

"Me too." Toby sighed. "But I'll be watching." 

"Pray for me?" Chris asked seriously. 

"Always." Toby said, looking at Chris. 

*** 

Toby sat on the top bunk as he watched Mikey settle in the pod, Toby had come up with the idea of Mikey moving in to his pod. Toby's eyes glazed over in an un-readable stare as he remembered Chris's words, he thought too much with his heart. Maybe that was his problem, he had a vulnerability to people. You would think he wouldn't, after all the shit he went through in Oz, but yet he still had a vulnerability to people. Maybe that was because he still wanted to believe that there was at least some goodness in people, although he doubted that. He doubted there was any good in people in Oz. Hell Toby couldn't even say he had good inside of him. Once you're in a place in so long, a place that had no "good" qualities in it whatsoever, you learned to adapt to it. You learned how to forget how you were in the outside. You forgot how you used to wear your tie. The way you used to eat at the dinner table, trying to not laugh as your children got the food they were eating all over their faces. The way you used to stare down at the gold band and think of how your life is so wonderful and how nothing could change it. You forget everything about how your 'old' life used to be like it, and you suddenly get re-born in some sort of way in a place like this. This is you first life. The minute you walk into Oz, you're already different. Whether or not you get raped or get addicted to drugs, the minute you're in Oz, you're no longer, "you". Maybe this would be what helped him stab back Miller in the back. The 'old' Toby would be fretting over every little thing, knowing how he couldn't do this, not to someone who was obviously learning to trust him. The 'old' Toby would go on and on how it's wrong. How it's wrong to do this, how it's just completely wrong, but something O'Reily once said popped into his head. 

_"In Oz, there is no bad."___

And with that one sentence in mind, Tobias Beecher could do anything.   



	8. Bathe In Thee Sins ...

**Author:** Dannette   
**Rating:** R   
**Summary: **Keller's going to make sure him and Beecher reunite, no matter what.   
**Time:** Season 5   
**Disclaimer: **None of the characters in this story belong to me, this is all fiction, thank you very much.   
**Warning:** This story is not for someone who doesn't like slash, or violence. In which this story has. This story has been stemmed from the show "Oz", which is rated TV-MA, mature audiences only, as most of the fiction about Oz. There is cussing, violence, relations between two men, murder, etc. The list really does go on. Now after reading this, do you still want to read the story? If so, go ahead, but remember ... I warned you. 

**RECENTLY -** Things develop between Beecher and Miller. Beecher and Keller talk. 

***********

**A Plan Of Action******

******* ****

"I want to talk to you Beecher." Came the oddly enough, calm voice of Sister Pete Marie. 

Toby looked up from the book he was reading, and stared at the Sister. He stared at her long and hard, his eyes locking into hers, without flinching, he just stared into her eyes. He saw the oldness in them, and he just shrugged, before going back down to his book. He could tell she came here to lecture him or ask him about Guenzel's death or maybe something completely irrevelant and at this given moment Toby couldn't give a crap about what she thought. He wasn't usually this cold, but all he had to do was picture a time back when the Sister wouldn't help him, back when he was Shillenger's prag, and it was obvious he was crying out for help. With that image in his head, Tobias Beecher could be one evil sonofabitch and not feel an ounce of remorse about it. He really did learn from the best. His time with Vern Shillenger had taught him a thing or two about surviving, even though Toby would never admit to that. No way in hell would he admit Vern helped him survive in Oz, but in all reality he did. But that would never be told. 

"I think it would be wise if we talked about your part in Guenzel's death." Sister Pete said, sitting down next to Toby. 

"And what part would that be?" Toby asked, not tearing his eyes away from his book. 

"What was your relationship with Guenzel?" Sister Pete asked. 

"I was a friend of his mom and dad. That's pretty much it." Toby said quickly. 

"But you wanted to help him before, I saw your attempts in trying to protect him. Why let go of it so easily?" Sister Pete asked. 

"You do things in this place that you're not proud of, and maybe, somewhere deep down inside of my body, I wish I could do some things over. But life isn't that easy. The minute you step foot in Oz, you're changed, without knowing it or not. You're put in danger all the time and there is nothing you can do about it. You have to do some shitty things to survive in Oz, because if you don't, then you're a dead man. You tend to forget how being alive used to feel, you learn to not care. You learn to shut your heart off, and yeah it hurts at first, but after you get used to the feeling, everything is just dandy." Toby said, looking up briefly. "People around here look past things, when people are screaming for help, help me ... help me ... all of you just look away, until you WANT to help. Such a crime really. And what happened to Guenzel, was unfortunate. I will pray for his soul, but there is not much more I can do, is there? The rest is up to God, the God that has rejected me as his own. The same God that let my son die, the same God that put me in this shit hole, that let me be raped, that let me be hurt time and time again. The same God that lets Vern Shillenger live day by day, the same God that has a blind eye towards to the cry of anguish from all the victims that he calls his children." 

Sister Pete flinched. 

"You say we are *all* God's children, I don't believe that." Toby said, standing up. "I think God doesn't love us all, he just loves the people that make his love simple. But when things got rough, when it gets just a little too hard to deal with, God copes out just like all of the chickenshit people around here. So you want to talk about my part in Guenzel's death? Well do you? I may have been a part of it willingly or not, but believe me, there is nothing I could have down to stop this. To stop his unfortunate demise. Don't you dare come here trying to act like the martyr, trying to save another soul, his soul is lost Sister, another lost soul in a word full of lost souls. Will praying help? Will getting down on my knees and crying to Allah, your God, my God, everyone's God, for him to have a safe delievery to where he belongs help make this matter better? Will it help you sleep at night?" Toby asked. 

"Will it help *you* sleep Tobias?" Sister Pete finally asked. 

"I sleep just fine." Toby snapped. "I still dream of when my wife committed suicide, I dream of all the things Shillenger did to me, I dream of my beautiful son's funeral. Oh yes, I sleep wonderfully, have no doubt about that Sister." Toby replied. 

"I can help .. " Sister Pete started. 

"Help?" Toby cut her off. "There is no need to help me, I am beyond help. I've been here for five years, five god damn years, I've forgotten who I am. I'm Beecher. I've been through hell, judge me Sister! Hell hath no fury. You want to help me? You're a bit too late for that aren't you? Five years too late. But don't worry, you are the bride of God, you will always know the love of God." 

"Tobias ... " Sister Pete said, standing up as Toby did. "God loves you, he is a part of you, he's inside of you." 

"If God is a part of me, he's a tumor." Toby said, walking off. 

Sister Pete watched Toby walk off, she sighed. 

*** 

"What's your plan here Beech?" O'Reily said, standing in front of Toby, O'Reily quirked an eyebrow. "Because here I am seeing you making buddies with Miller, and y'know, it has me interested. Because from what I hear, Miller will be taking K-Boy's place in the death penalty; so I'm wondering if you have a plan, or you're just getting horny without your boy." O'Reily snapped. 

Toby smirked. "Oh I have a plan, but that horny comment doesn't sound so bad now." 

O'Reily snorted. "Fuck Beecher, you're one twisted individual. I still remember when you were the pretty lawyer boy, not knowing where to fit in, easily trapped by Shillenger. I've seen you change in Oz, a lot of people have, I've seen you shit on Shillenger and do various other things to that bastard, I've seen you dance around here rhyming, I've seen you mope over K-Boy. So you may fool everyone else, but I know what's up. I know why Guenzel was Shillenger's prag, which led to his death. I see what goes on around here, I keep a close eye on my prospects. You talk about redemption, about wanting God's love, and yet you rather give up an innocent to see your little lover. What is that word Said rants about? Sodomy, yeah, isn't that it? You praticing sodomy left and right. You talk about redemption and wanting to find your path, but what you do, says 'fuck it, fuck it all'. But see where is your God now? I don't see him, I don't see him giving you any love. Making you feel loved. Saving you from the wrong road in life." 

Toby shook his head. "And until I see you again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand, remember that Ryan?" 

"Good memory." O'Reily said. 

"I remember everything that goes around in here. And believe me, I know you had something to do with Howell's murder. So you want to talk about blackmail, talk about being a smart ass, acting like you know it all. Remember, I see a whole damn lot too, so I wouldn't be bragging anytime soon. I hold you in the palm of *my* hand." Toby said, walking off. 

O'Reily cursed underneath his breath. 

*** 

"You've ever been in love, besides your wife?" Mikey asked, staring at Toby who was sitting on the top bunk. 

Toby sat on the top bunk, reading a magazine, he had snatched from the library. Toby paused, looked up at Mikey and then looked back down, marked his page and then shut the magazine. He put the magazine to the side of him and looked back at Mikey. "Yeah. It was hard, you know? To actually fall in love after the death of Genieve. I actually fell in love unexpectedly, and I sure paid for it later. I still love this person. I couldn't help it. It's ugly and painful, and very fucking twisted, but I know it's love. Unconditional. Through the ugly, through the pain, the heartache, the mindfucks, the physical pain, there is that love shining through it all." 

"Sounds painful." Mikey said, leaning against the bunks. 

Toby nodded. "Oh it is. That's love for you. On the outside, I thought love was simple, I thought I had everything, and then the minute I stepped in Oz, everything changed, I learned the real meaning of love. Y'know, this person taught me love can be everything you thought about. I'm talking hate, love, anger, pain, betrayal, self-surrender, self-doubt, all that shit. You got it all in one package and it burns inside of you. Like a cross." Toby said, fingering the gold cross necklace he was wearing. "Excactly like a cross burning into your skin, branding you for life. You're branded, and everyone can see it. And you see, in real love, the unconditional sort, you don't care what the others thing, you pretty much wish them off the fucking universe without a second thought. Oh, yeah, that's love. It makes you think at night, think if this is what you want ... you got a ton of self-doubt, but you love that person and you know, that you're not shit without this person. A question was once asked, can you ever love someone too much? Hell yeah." 

Mikey pursed his lips. "Is this person a guy or a female?" 

"Guy, that's all you pretty much got here in Oz." Toby said, shrugging. "You have to take what you can." 

"Where is this guy now?" Mikey asked, his eyes searching Toby's, finding he found everything interesting in there. 

"Not that far away, but he seems too far away. It seems like there are a million obstactles standing in our way, and I just want to tear them all down. I want to kill and crush everything that stands in our way. I just want it to be us. He's like a drug to me. An addiction. I need him near me. I need his touch. His graze. His looks. I need all of him." Toby said, looking out the prison pod. "It's painful, knowing that you're so close to someone, yet so far away. So fucking painful." 

Mikey continued to stare at Toby. There was something about his eyes, Mikey was addicted to them. The last thing he had been addicted to was Chis Keller, but Toby was so much more addicting. Just the way he looked, acted, everything about him. Mikey felt as if he would do anything for Toby, only if Toby would ask him too. "Well do something about it." Mikey replied. 

"Oh believe me, I am." Toby said quietly. "It's just taking longer than I expected it to ... " 

*** 

_Baby can you tell me_   
_Just where we fit in_   
_I call it love_   
_They call it living in sin_   
_Is it you and me_   
_Or just this world we live in_   
_I say we're living on love_   
_They say we're living in sin___

Chris laid in the cell bed, as a particular verse of a Jon Bon Jovi song came to mind; sorta reminded him of him and Toby. Living in sin, he loved that line. That was definitely him and Toby. Sodomy or whatever the hell "they" liked calling it, was a sin, pure and simple and for the longest time, Chris didn't want any of that shit. He screwed and killed 'em. But now he would be glad to be living in a world of sin, he didn't give a fucking shit. It was just him and Toby. Toby and him. Everything else didn't matter. 

How could he feel so close, yet so far away from Toby? He needed to get out of this damn cell, he needed to be back in Em City, he needed to be in the same pod as Toby, to touch him ... touch him in places where no one else can touch him. Oh yeah, he was the master in doing that. He needed to kiss Toby ... rough, then gentle, then a mix in the between, then all over again. 

This cell was too small. It was killing him. He never knew he could miss someone this *much*. It was crazy. He had never missed anything in his life, and he was dying because of how much he missed Toby. Without Toby near him, inside of him, Chris was dying. God, he just wanted to tear open these bars on his own. He would, if he could. If that would bring him closer to what he wanted. It was a yearning, something that grew and grew and grew until you couldn't handle it. You just wanted to scream. 

_Fuck, _Chris thought as he rubbed his face. _I've got to get outta here.___

*** 

"So tell me about this plan." O'Reily hissed in Toby's ear, as he sat next to Toby, as they all watched television. "Because I'm fucking curious. I'm a part of this shit too, you know, so fill me in." O'Reily demanded in a low whisper. 

Toby didn't even flinch or turn to look at O'Reily, all he did was scoot his chair closer to him, so they were in a better whispering range." Miller has grown quite an attachment to me, as you can see." Toby said, quietly. 

"I've seen." O'Reily mused. 

"He's already wanting to know everything about me, about my life, my thoughts, my feelings, the list goes on. I interest him, he is obviously feeling something. I can use those emotions against him. I'll get him to a point where he would do anything my little heart desired, only if I would ask him. Once I have him to that point, I've got what I want." Toby said confidentally. 

"You're going to get the little sucker to love you, so he'll confess?" O'Reily whispered. 

"Exactly." Toby whispered back. 

"Fucking brillant." O'Reily said, grinning.   



End file.
